The Sight (bxb)

Chapter 30 - Roller Coaster

Evan couldn't sleep that night. Despite his tiredness and the fact that his eyelids were drooping every now and then, all he did was toss from side to side. He couldn't blame it on the caffeine, as he surprisingly hadn't had any coffee today, and he was sure that the nicotine should have had the opposite effect.

He rolled over once more, staying on his back, staring at the white ceiling of his room as he had done so many times before. He should probably be resigned to the fact that he won't get a good night's sleep until his life is back on track, but he honestly had no idea when that would be, so he didn't lose hope that sleep would eventually overtake him. His problems did it, so why not sleep?

Evan has felt like he's been on a roller coaster these past few days. One time he was up, and another time, before he knew it, he was back down, and the same thing over and over. He knew it was his own fault, but even his solutions didn't help. Every time he thought he had made the right decision, there was something that whispered in his mind, questioning his choice.

Judging that he wouldn't fall asleep anyway, he threw off the duvet and stood up. He quietly walked over to the window and sat down in the chair next to it. It was his favourite place to read books, but now instead of picking one up, he wrapped his arms around his knees and rested his chin on them. Looking at the night sky was calming to him to some extent.

His gaze fell briefly on the moon, which was particularly bright on this night. As a child, he always imagined the Moon Goddess sitting on a silver throne in her castle on the moon. Evan remembered feeling sad that she was there all alone until Riley told him the story about the wolf guard and the constellations. And although he had learned the truth a long time ago, he still carried the story with him even though he knew Riley made it up to make him happy. He remembered every detail.

The constellation Canis Minor, or as Riley called it the Stars of the Watchman Wolf, was right next to the constellation Orion, as it represented Orion's dog. But in Riley's story, it wasn't a dog, but wolves. Two wolves linked by a bond created by the Moon Goddess so they would never be alone. In return, they always disappeared from the sky during the day together with the other stars so that they could keep her company, and she would not be sad.

After Riley found his mate, his story expanded to include the constellation Canis Major. He and his mate were two wolves bonded together, while their family was multiple wolves bonded together but distant from the original two. Evan knew it was his way of explaining the situation to him to make it sound better than it really was. After all, the next day Riley was gone, leaving nothing but emptiness, not only in his house but in Evan's heart as well.

Evan often wondered if Riley knew how things would turn out. After all, he had visions that he barely talked about and even when asked about them, he usually described two in particular as if the others didn't even exist.

Regrets for not asking more often gnawed at Evan's mind, but they were quickly drowned out by the fact that Riley had left him nothing behind. Although it hurt, Evan knew what it meant. Riley didn't want to keep in touch and maybe even thought that Evan was just like the rest of their family. Maybe he was just trying to spare himself the pain. After all, he and Evan always had a special bond between them, and if even his favourite cousin turned against him and his chosen one, it would surely break his heart. And maybe it was just something Evan was telling himself to make himself feel better.

It was quite ironic that just when Evan was having a problem with his mate, he remembered Riley. And even though many years had passed, he knew he would do anything to hear his advice. But he also knew that it was impossible since although he didn't admit it to anyone, Evan tried to find him online a few times. However, his name is as if it did not exist. Maybe he changed his name, or maybe he got married. There were many scenarios, and Evan was surprised at himself that not one of them made him angry. After all, carrying the Bludd last name has seemed like a curse for the past few years.