The Sight (bxb)

Chapter 33 - Nowhere - Part 3

Maybe it was because Ryan grew up in a different pack, maybe it was because his soul fit like a piece of a puzzle with Evan's, and maybe it was just a coincidence. Evan didn't know which option was right, but he didn't care since he finally felt heard.

His parents constantly reminded him that humans are not like werewolves. Not because they lacked the animal nature and second form but because they had a different lifestyle and different values. According to them, they could never fully understand each other and therefore were destined to live separately. To Evan's question why some of them end up with human mates, they replied that it was simply the exception that proves the rule. Moreover, according to them, it was these couples who ended up separated with a hole in their souls. Evan liked to say that wolves could end up like that too, but his parents didn't seem to hear that. Maybe that's why he didn't doubt that somewhere in the world there were wolves who lived in unhappy or even abusive relationships that they didn't want to get out of because they simply took the mate bond as something sacred.

"See, maybe that's why you haven't found your mate yet. Maybe they're human, and you couldn't be together as long as you live here," Ryan told his cousin. Michael didn't seem to believe it, or at least take it seriously. He just shook his head at his remark and took another drag of his cigarette. Evan had never seen him smoke so much, but it could have been because he didn't notice him that much at other times, or rather didn't want to notice him.

"And maybe you just need to grow up before you meet them." Although Evan didn't know him that well, he knew that the subject of mates was somewhat sensitive for him, so he decided to turn it into a joke.

"Then you'll never meet yours." Michael could not be put off and immediately returned his provocation. Even though his words were somehow insulting, Evan chuckled. He had long since realized the truth of that statement and was not going to argue over something he fully agreed with.

"Back on topic. That still doesn't explain why you think that mates are stupid." Ryan interrupted their little banter and brought seriousness back into their conversation.

"Well, first of all, you have to adapt your whole life to them," he decided to answer him truthfully. Michael decided to share his nicotine stick with him again, so he could think about his answers during the small pauses while he inhaled the smoke.

"They are your life partner." Evan wasn't sure if Ryan's comment was just an addition to his own or if he was trying to contradict him. His tone was the same as the students used in school when they talked about facts that are given and unchangeable. Simply a lesson that you listen to over and over again until it is etched in your memory.

"So?" Evan decided to get a better answer out of him. Not that he believed he could change his mind, but he wanted to hear what Ryan thought about it. Mates were an important topic when it came to wolves, and Evan had yet to meet anyone who had such a similar opinion as him.

"You can't live your whole life conforming to someone. You have to learn to compromise. You both have to," he explained, and Evan blinked in surprise.

"What about me?" He threw in another question, knowing that Ryan would know what he meant. No wolf would willingly choose the life of a loner, even if they had a mate by their side.

"Your mate can be a human or a wolf who lives in another pack that suits you." Apparently, Ryan didn't even have to think about his answer, as he answered him right away. Evan's first thought was to ask him what opinion they held in his pack, but he quickly changed his mind, as he might inadvertently reveal something he didn't want Ryan to know.

"I am certain of two things. The first is that my mate is a wolf." He finally decided to reveal at least part of the truth to him, hoping he hadn't said too much. Moreover, the moment he started the second sentence, he quickly looked away from him, so that by no miracle he could tell from his gaze that he was that wolf.

"And the second one?" Ryan didn't even take the time to think about his answer and immediately asked more.

"I want to go to university in a city where are no packs." According to his information, no packs lived not only in New York but also in its vicinity. It wasn't unusual for wolves to go to university, but they never chose cities that were so far away that they couldn't come home at least for the weekends. In Evan's case, this meant that the moment he was accepted, he would have to say goodbye to his pack. Not that he hadn't been preparing for it.

"So, you want your mate to leave his pack?" Along with the question, Michael also handed him the cigarette. Ryan, on the other hand, decided to stop asking and simply stated: "So you don't want a mate." There was no hint of emotion in his voice, and Evan found himself trying to read between the lines.

"I think that a wolf can fall in love and have a happy life even without a mate," Evan stated, though he wasn't sure about that statement lately. Ryan's arrival has caused chaos in his life, and he's starting to feel like he's reconsidering decisions he thought were sealed long ago.

"Maybe." It seemed that the ink-haired boy was no longer paying attention to him and was looking somewhere in the direction of the forest, deep in thought.

"That's pure stupidity. If you decide you don't want your mate, there's going to be a poor wolf out there somewhere waiting for his other half, and he won't get it because of your selfish decision. You're not only deciding your life but his too." That was the longest sentence Michael had said today, and it hit Evan where he wasn't expecting it. But that wasn't all that was on his mind, because right after he took a drag from his cigarette and blew out the smoke, he looked into Evan's eyes and said something else that no one had ever said directly to him like that. "You say that you don't want to adapt your life to someone else's, and yet you decided to decide someone else's life without even asking their opinion."

Evan was speechless. He was filled with guilt, and he had never felt so disgusting in his life as he did now. He felt tears well up in his eyes and a slight tremor appeared in his hands. He couldn't believe that it was Michael's words that penetrated so deep inside him that they touched his soul.

He opened his mouth several times but could not formulate a single thought. He knew that Michael's words were true, and all the counterarguments in his head sounded silly. He couldn't tell him about Kieran, or that he was already in love with someone else. He couldn't tell him that he had tried to trick fate, and certainly not that the other wolf in this situation was his cousin.

"I don't want to hurt anyone." His voice was so weak that for a moment, he didn't even realize he had spoken.

"Then change your attitude," Michael didn't coddle him and told him straight up. Evan's gaze was stuck somewhere in the distance while he was trapped inside his head. The same words were repeated to him there like a broken record and he felt his breathing quicken. He was panicking, but he knew he was to blame.

"Breathe, Evan." Suddenly, a hand appeared on his back, and even without hearing his voice, he knew it was Ryan trying to comfort him. The ink-haired boy clung to his side, resting his shoulder on his in a comforting gesture. Evan could feel his body calm down, but his heart started to sound like an alarm. It was a paradox that he was being comforted by the very boy he was hurting at the same time.

"I'm sorry." Evan stood briskly, knocking Ryan's hand off of him. He couldn't think clearly in his presence and knew that the longer he stayed there, the worse tricks his mind would play on him. He had to go home.

With that thought, he turned on autopilot and headed in the direction he came from. He did not respond to the voices of the cousins that tried to reach him. All he could think about was that he had to go home, away from them. He hoped they wouldn't follow him, but just to be sure, he decided to get a head start and started shedding his clothes as he ran. The last piece of fabric fell to the forest floor and Evan felt his bones begin to shift. Not caring about his clothes, he ran home like a wolf.

His parents were at home, so he had no problem opening the unlocked door even in this form. It was a little trick he had learned a long time ago and now it came in handy. In the form of a wolf, his thoughts did not work the same as when he was a human, so he was determined to last like this for as long as possible.

He quickly ran up the stairs to his room, where he curled up in a ball on the bed behind the closed door. It wasn't long before his wolf started making sounds that resembled whining. Lying in bed, he quickly lost track of time. He had no idea when he shifted back, and his whining turned into crying or when he fell asleep. The only thing he was sure of was that he no longer knew anything.