Emperor of Mayhem

s i x t y - s e v e n

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LIFE AND DEATH
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Beep

Beep

Beep

In the oddly comforting arms of darkness where I seemed to be floating, my brows furrowed at the incessant beeping sound coming from somewhere. For a long time it had sounded distant, but the more I let myself pay attention to it, the more it tried to take possession of my consciousness. The more it got closer and louder.

"Get up!" I suddenly heard a low growl over the strange sound, commanding someone to do something.

I heard myself groan softly. Who was the fool disturbing my sleep?

"Get the fuck up!" Then the command came again, this time more harsh. And it was followed by a violent shake of my shoulder by a rather callous hand. 

Who was this rude brat?

"Get the fuck up, you lowly wench!" One violent tug again and I jolted awake, blinking once, twice, trying to censor my thoughts. I looked around the familiar room for the source of the disturbance. But firstly, my eyes fell on the tall frame of a gorgeous man lying on the bed where I had placed my head to sleep while kneeling on the floor.

The man had miscellaneous wires connected to his chest, stomach and lower abdomen. The wires were then one way or another, interconnected to a heart monitor that was making the beeping sounds. 

The man was Mikhail, by the way.

My poor, poor Mikhail laid on the bed, still as he fought for his life. Fifty percent in this world and fifty in the great beyond, battling which side to choose; to live and continue this torturous life? Or die and go to a place of peace, if his sins were forgiven, by the way…if there was truly an all-forgiving God above.

My heart ached seeing his pale face again, his cracked, bluish lips that used to be so luscious, pink and full. Then his dry, dishevelled hair that used to shine the brightest, like a twinkle of stars in the night sky.

The corners of my eyes itched again and before I could control it, the tears came pouring. I did this. I put him in this condition. I caused him this pain when all he had ever done was love me more than his body could handle, love me to the point of madness. All he did was love me enough to be ready to bargain for the possession of the moon and the stars just for me.

"I told you to stay the fuck away from this room, didn't I?" The familiar voice uttered callous words to me and I sniffled, wiping my tears with the palm of my hand.

I had never been able to figure out why this soldier hated my very existence this much. And it had always given me sleepless nights because I couldn't find peace knowing someone hated me for a reason I might have known but have forgotten or didn't know at all. For months I had been making one theory or the other just to pacify myself but came up with nothing.

Now after seeing their leader covered in blood with a gaping hole very close to the heart he had given to me completely, made this soldier's hatred for me intensify. And since I couldn't figure out why he hated me, I held onto this truth. He hated me because I almost killed their boss.

He hated me because I didn't deserve to be loved greatly by a man like Mikhail Varkov. He hated me because no matter how undeserving I was, Mikhail would always choose me over his loyal soldiers.

"Touch him and I will break your fingers!" He said coldly, his tone promising when I lifted a hand to hold Mikhail's on, to exchange my warmth, to let him know I didn't desert him, to let him know even in this darkness he was stuck in, I was waiting for him to come back to me.