Emperor of Mayhem

94

A WOMAN SCORNED
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From the background of the banquet hall I never really paid too much attention until just yesterday, a dull classical music with a poor romantic touch played. And I would have probably tried my hardest to connect with the song in one way or another if it was sung in English or French, two languages that I understood perfectly. But every single part of the lyrics was in Russian. Being in Russia for years now didn't help me understand the language at all.

So in the reception hall, I felt out of place. Everyone else seemed to know the song. Even the Italians, the Japanese, the French, and the Spanish audiences seemed to know a bit of the song. And I, the bride, knew nothing.

I was married to a Russian man but I couldn't even speak his language. And wearing his ring or bearing his name all of a sudden couldn't change anything, not the rumor that I didn't belong here and was just forcing myself into the familial.

Odd, wasn't it? It was my wedding reception. I was supposed to be the center of attention, the point of everyone's focus, the star of the show. But I felt...out of place. I tried hard to smile, to be welcoming and be cheerful but it just wasn't working for me. Not when they all spoke Russian to me and all I could do was nod and smile hoping they were telling me congratulations on your wedding.

But the language barrier wasn't the only reason I felt sick to my stomach. There was something else wrong with me. Something that was making me unable to be happy even on a day that was supposed to be the happiest moment of my life. I was marrying the man I loved with all my heart, someone I was ready to bend and break rules for, someone I wouldn't even waste a heartbeat to kill for. Yet I wasn't happy. That happiness that came from the inside? I didn't have it. 

And the entire scene of my wedding reception unnerved me for no reason. 

I wanted everyone to just disappear. 

And it sucked because I couldn't pinpoint what exactly was irritating me about my perfectly planned day.

The problem wasn't how everyone was wearing black and now it looked more like a mourning house than a space gathered to celebrate the joining together of two hearts.

My issue wasn't the clinging of wine glasses, the gentle laughter even though no one said anything funny, or how some random people I didn't know were smiling at me as if we were friends.

Maybe the problem itself was me.

I should just disappear from here. Go up to my room, have a shower and curl into the bed, and sleep. 

But who was I kidding? Had I mistakenly forgotten the kind of man I just married? On other days he could pull an all-nighter for sex. And that was because an insatiable sexual beast lived inside of him.  There was no way in hell he wouldn't pin me down to perform his conjugal rights as soon as we retired back to the room. 

He had made it clear many times today, right from the time we left the church. He had sent texts even though we were beside each other half of the time. He had whispered how he couldn't wait to rip off my black dinner dress as soon as all this unnecessary ceremony was over.

There was no way I was escaping that hungry beast tonight. 

But maybe sex was actually a good idea when it came to relieving stress on some occasions. After all that had happened today, a good fucking should work out my tensed muscles and empty my mind, quiet down this darkness sounding a hollow song in my head. 

But for now, I just wanted to be alone; disappear. 

"Are you okay, baby?" A familiar, deep voice breathed down my skin before his face dipped gently into my neck. I shuddered in delight when I felt the tip of his nose trail soft and suggestive lines from the curve of my neck to my exposed shoulder.