~•~•~•~ WARNING: The following chapter includes mentions of blood, abuse, and contains details that readers may find disturbing ~•~•~•~
San woke up in his own bed back in hell, looking at the red wallpaper and the painting of his family on the wall. Great. Another nightmare. He should have expected it, given Han-gyeol's sour temperament. San let out a sigh, turning around in his bed trying to find a calendar.
He wondered what day he was going to relive today, his body acting against his will and getting him out of bed. It was like being a puppet on a string, the pupperter being his own mind and him following along. He opened his bedroom door, his lips pressed into a firm line as he walked into the hallway. Hell he hated this place.
Guards were everywhere as usual but he couldn't see anyone he knew. The black flowers decorating the hallway leading to the ballroom and the dimmed out lights of the palace told him that it was the week of his mother's death, no one daring to say a word except to share their condolences.
San thought that his nightmares were repetitive at this point, wondering if this was the day he met Han-gyeol or the day after when he had gone to the library again to see if she was there. He smiled a little when he guessed right, stopping in front of the library hearing a giggle pour out into the hallway. San mindlessly checked the hallway like he did the day they met, sneaking into the library to see who was brave enough to step into his mother's room after her passing. That took guts and it was something that made San smile even a little back then.
"Going somewhere?" A voice called out to him, San freezing instantly in the doorway. He knew Han-gyeol had put her book down and ran to hide behind a shelf so no one could see her, a secret he had told her the day after they met.
Oh, this was the day before he met Han-gyeol. San cussed at himself something that wasn't normal for his younger self but very normal for the San that hung out with Yunho, Mingi, and Jongho a lot. Shit he wanted to cry.
"San," A more comforting voice called out, putting San at ease a little. He was still on edge, terrified of turning around. He didn't want to turn around, he wanted to run and hide with Han-gyeol. He wanted to ask him to hide him and take him with him somewhere far away. But like all his nightmares he found his body acting on its own, turning around to see the guy his Uncle was with.
"He must be so heartbroken," One of the ladies attending to his dad whispered to the other, San looked at her, everything feeling so real again. His mom was gone and she was never going to come back. San tried to let some of the reality seep into the memory, smiling a little when he thought of a nightmare twist where his mom was alive somewhere and it would be revealed in episode ten of a drama.
It didn't last long, the tears making their way to his eyes. He closed them, using what little power he had to change things in his nightmares to let his tears fall to the ground instead of wiping them away like he did that day. "I miss her too," His dad said, pulling him into a hug, his uncle shutting the library door. San heard the door shut, opening his eyes and finding himself sitting in his uncle's favorite room.
By that time decades had passed, with both his parents gone. His father out of his life and his mom out of the world. Leaving a very empty throne and an uncle who wanted a puppet king. San stared at him as he poured a drink for himself, not knowing what day it was. There were so many days like this one, it was hard not to lose track.
"San, I know how tough it's been for you," San's uncle said, San trying to remind himself that he couldn't talk back like he wanted to. Maybe he could, saying the exact same words he had said to him that day. "You haven't made it any easier," San said, knowing the score by then. San didn't flinch when his Uncle's pet slithered at him from where it was on the bed. It was too far away to hurt him, but not far away enough to let him breathe.
