Memory of Devotion- Book 2

3

CHAPTER THREE || THE TRUE BEGINNING

tw: smut at the end (m receiving)

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Alex had rushed out of the cell block, leaving the rest of the group to deal with the situation now it was safe as she sat in a guard tower alone. a cigarette hung between her lips as she inhaled deeply, guilt tugged at her heart. She kept replaying the situation in her head, how she'd pointed the gun at the governor. she couldn't sworn it was him. how close she was to pulling the trigger. but it was Sam. She'd almost shot Sam. but it wasn't she saw him. She saw the governor. her mind played awful tricks on her, tormenting her. She thought it was over, she thought she was getting better... now she'd just blown up, in front of everyone.  she exhaled flicking the ash from the cigarette with her thumb as her hand ran through her hair, her mind began to drift as she looked out beyond the fences.

"Lex it doesn't matter how bad things get out here, we're together."

Eli's voice echoed through her mind, and how she wasn't sure if that was even what he sounded like. she was starting to forget. and maybe that was the worst pain of all. she'd lost enough to never need another lesson in heartbreak again. But with this world; heartbreak was inevitable.

her throat threatened to close as she held back tears, her jaw clenched as the anger that comes with losing someone consumed her. The hatred, the anger always circled back to herself. no matter how hard she tried to be happy, it never worked out the way she wanted. she couldn't figure out what she'd done to deserve this, to deserve the loss, the way her mind would constantly play tricks on her, torment her. there was nothing she wouldn't do for the memories to stop haunting her.

**

Carl ran up to Rick upon seeing him leave the cell block, Despite Ricks objections Carl rushed into his Arms pulling his dad into a hug, thankful he was okay soft cries left Carls's lips despite trying to hold them back. the pure panic that echoed through the prison enough to cause Carl overwhelming anxiety. 

he saw Alex rush out, he saw the look on her face, the pain that etched her features filled him with dread when he hadn't seen his father leave with her. rick held his son trying to calm his anxiety yet his was just as high with what had happened.

"I didn't see you come out... Alex she looked-" The fear that laced carls voice, he was terrified of losing another parent. he was terrified of losing anyone. Rick rubbed his son's back in an attempt to comfort him yet dread pooled in his own stomach. 

"It's okay, I'm here. I'm fine. you need to back away" Rick warned after discussing what caused the walker problem, only to discover it was caused by a flu-like virus. a virus that could possibly wipe out the whole population at the prison...

"Patrick got sick last night. some kind of flu. it moves fast, we think he died and attacked the cell block... I know he was your friend, I'm sorry. he was a good kid... we lost a lot of good people. keep your distance from anyone who might have been exposed. carl help michonne in, then try and find Alex" Rick explained as Carl backed away from him, Michonne and Maggie stood behind him in disbelief as they listened to what'd happened.

Rick knew Alex's soft spot for Carl, he knew he could make her feel better. it had been the same since the PTSD started, the young boy somehow made her feel calmer like her problems were gone when he was around. she never once spoke to him about them, or let him see her when they were troubling her... but he was a happy kid, he had the same effect as Eli in some way. he could lighten the mood.