Not To Plan

chapter 32

The baby is now three weeks old. I moved all of my stuff into merediths house. I'm getting my money together to buy half of it, so it will be our house.

"Derek!" Meredith yells. I open my eyes slowly. "I need to pee, take her" she passes me the baby. I sit up slowly and take violet. She's crying. Meredith goes.

"Shh baby, it's okay" I whisper, rubbing her belly. She stops crying. Meredith comes back.

She looks like shit. I mean, she always looks gorgeous and perfect and amazing.. but right now, her hair is knotted, she has puke down her shirt and she hasn't showered in a week.

"Go shower mer" I say. "But the baby-" she says. "I've got the baby" I say. She smiles. "Thank you" she kisses me softly.

"Go, stinky" I say. She chuckles, going into the bathroom. "Your mommy is the best" I whisper. "Yes, she is" I say in a baby voice, kissing her head softly. I lay her down on the bed infront of me.

I smile, just watching her in silence. I grin as she stretches her arms and legs out. She's so cute. I lean down and kiss her nose.

I take a picture of her and send it to both meredith and addison, for addie to show to scarlett. She's with her mommy right now. Me and meredith couldn't handle a newborn and a toddler at once. We see her tomorrow though.

I put the baby in her cot as soon as she falls asleep. I go into the bathroom. I open the shower curtain to look at her.

"You're such a perv" she giggles. "I just wanted to catch a glimpse of my sexy fiancé's naked.. amazing body" I scan her body. She giggles.

"You really think I'm sexy?" She asks, putting her hand on her belly, where her stretch marks are. "You're so sexy" I pull the hand away gently. She kisses me.

"Excuse me, you're supposed to be watching our baby" she chuckles. "She's peacefully asleep" I say.

"You're not supposed to leave them alone" she says. "Honey, she's fine.. I'd never let her get hurt, she's in her cot" I say. "I know, I'm sorry.. I'm new to all of this" she chuckles. "I know.. but I'm not, and I'm here" I kiss her.

"I'm sorry, I'm totally interrupting your shower.. I couldn't help myself" I chuckle. "That's okay" she giggles. I leave and go back to the bedroom.

She comes out a little while later. "Go and get in the shower baby, there's hot water left" she says. "You gonna be okay?" I get up. She nods.

"Don't you dare put your clothes on until I'm back to watch the show" I whisper in her ear as I lean down to kiss her cheek. She giggles. I smile. I go and get in the shower.

I get out and go into the bedroom. She's brushing her hair that she blowdried. I smile as I see she's still in her towel. She stands up.

She pulls off her towel whilst staring into my eyes. I let out a heavy sigh. She's so perfect, I can't. I step towards her and kiss her. I run my hands up her sides and grab her face. She moans.

She pulls my towel off and it drops to the floor. She pushes me onto the bed. "Baby" I say shocked. She kneels infront of me. She hasn't done this for weeks. I've missed it.

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She pulls her mouth away and wipes her lips. She giggles as she sees I'm laid on the bed, panting out of breath.

She climbs ontop of me. "Derek" she looks into my eyes. "Are you okay?" She asks. "You're incredible" I say. She smiles.

"I've been wanting to do that to you for ages" she says. I sit up. She's straddling me. "Four more weeks baby" I whisper, scanning her body. "I'm counting the days" she sighs.

The baby starts crying. She gets up quickly and puts on her panties before grabbing her. She sits on the bed and breastfeeds her. I put on my clothes as she does.

"No, mer" I sigh as I see her start to cry with the baby. I don't know why she does this. I asked addie about it and she said it's hormones. Addison never did it though.

"She's upset" she whispers tearfully. "She's okay, she's with her mommy" I kiss her head. "Why won't she stop?" She sobs.

"Pass her to me" I whisper. I gently pick her up. I take her downstairs so meredith can calm herself down.

I sit on the couch with the baby. She eventually falls back asleep in my arms. I'm shirtless. I've been doing a lot of skin to skin with the baby.

I feel like because she's not my DNA, she's not gonna be as close to me as she will be with meredith.

Meredith just tells me to stop being ridiculous and that violet loves me either way. I'm still gonna do everything I can to help us bond more though.

I take her back upstairs and put her in her cot. Meredith is asleep in bed. I smile. I lean down and kiss her head.

"I love you baby" I whisper. "I love you" she mumbles. I leave the room and go downstairs to watch tv for a bit and relax finally.