Not To Plan

Chapter 49

I woke up in the middle of the night and Meredith wasn't in bed, so I went downstairs to look for her. I smile as I see her in the kitchen, making something to eat. She gasps, her head whipping around as I hug her from behind.

"It's okay, it's just me" I kiss her cheek. "What you doing?" I ask. "Nothing" she puts all of the food into the cupboard. "Babe" I furrow my brows. "Let's go up" she grabs my hand.

"Are you hungry baby?" I very gently pull her back. She looks into my eyes for a few seconds before nodding slowly.

"Then get something.. why did you put it away?" I ask, confused. "..James wouldn't let me eat in the middle of the night when he stayed at mine" she says. "Meredith.. darling, I'm not James, you can do whatever the hell you want" I sigh.

"..are you mad?" She looks at me, putting her hands on my waist gently. "Not at you" I kiss her softly. "Good" she smiles, turning around to grab her food. She makes herself a sandwich.

She leans against the kitchen counter as she eats it. She holds it to my lips and I smile, taking a bite. She smiles at me. "Thank you gorgeous" I run my hands up and down her sides slowly. "Do you like it?" She asks. I nod.

"Are you sure you're not mad at me? You look angry" she asks quietly. "I'm not mad at you, babe.. it just infuriates me that he controlled you so much" I say. "But you're not mad at me?" She asks. "Stop asking that" I sigh. "I'm sorry" she says. "No, don't be sorry" I put my hands on her cheeks.

"I love you" I look into her eyes. "I love you too" she smiles, wrapping her arms around my neck. "Do you wanna go to bed?" She runs her hands down to my hips. "Not right now baby" I whisper. "Oh" she looks down.

"Meredith, did James have sex with you every time you made up after an argument?" I ask quietly, scared she's going to say what I think she is. "He'd make me have sex with him after he'd hurt me.. as an apology or something" she says. I was worried she'd say that.

"Okay, come here" I hold her hand. She follows me to the couch. We sit down. "Darling, that isn't how normal relationships work" I say. "It isn't?" She looks up at me. I shake my head. "You don't have to have sex with me to make me happy again" I stroke her cheek with my thumb. "And you won't be angry?" She asks. "No, baby" I shake my head.

"What if I want to have sex with you?" She asks worriedly. "Then we can.. but I don't ever want you to do it just because you think it'll make me happy, okay?" I say. "Okay" she whispers.

"You can always always say no to me if you don't want to and I'll never be angry" I say. "Promise?" She looks into my eyes. "I promise" I whisper. She hugs me. I pull her onto my lap and hug her back, holding her in my arms protectively. She cuddles into me.

"You wanna have sex?" I grin at her, running my hand up her thigh slowly. "No thank you" she says nervously. I pull my hand away and smile brightly. "That was so good! See? You can do it baby" I say. She smiles wider.

"I never ever want to have sex with you ever again" she looks at me with a serious look on her face. "..really?" I frown. "No! But you didn't get mad" she smiles at me. I smile as she kisses me. She was testing me. "I'm not gonna ever get mad at you for that" I say. "Okay" she grins.

"You're the best" she hugs me. "Meredith, this is how you should've been treated all along" I whisper. "You're still the best.. because you're showing me real love" she looks into my eyes. I kiss her deeply.

"I actually do want to have sex with you please" she says sweetly. I smile, climbing ontop of her. She lays down onto the couch. We kiss eachother passionately.