𝗀 𝗁 𝗈 𝗌 𝗍 | | 𝗌 𝗍 𝖾 𝗏 𝖾 𝗋 𝗈 𝗀 𝖾 𝗋 𝗌

𝗍 𝗐 𝖾 𝗇 𝗍 𝗒

       

⍟ 𝟣𝟫𝟦𝟧, 𝗅𝗈𝗇𝖽𝗈𝗇, 𝖾𝗇𝗀𝗅𝖺𝗇𝖽 ⍟

FROM THE EVENING OF DECEMBER 18th, 1944, all the way to the end of January, 1945, there was a certain level of tension and uncomfortableness among the Howling Commandos. Marta and Steve hardly spoke, only when they had to during the planning of raids.

        Marta tried hard to be civil with him, but Steve had other ideas. He would make rude comments to her, or just downright ignore when she spoke. Marta knew she deserved it, but it made her feel awful, and Bucky noticed this. She grew quiet when she wasn't being spoken to and kept to herself. The attempts her friends made to cheer her up did nothing, and she asked them to stop in the nicest way she could.

        Rebecca had gone home the morning after the failed proposal. The war was getting very serious in London, and Bucky and Marta didn't Rebecca anywhere near it. Thomas had the same feeling, and Elizabeth and Joseph traveled back to Wisconsin the following day.

        Because there was never an outburst of affection, very minimal for that matter, between Marta and Steve in front of the Commandos, life went on as normal as it could in the midst of a war. Marta refused to show any signs of heartbreak on her face in front of other people. It made her feel weak. But she cried herself to sleep every evening, kicking herself for the decision she made.

        Her alcoholism had gotten worse. It was Howard who first noticed it. He had taken over for Steve, helping Marta craft her explosives into the late hours of the night. Howard wanted to keep Marta company, to keep her from drinking herself to death, which he, Peggy and Bucky feared she was on the verge was.

        Steve wasn't doing much better. He always had such a sad look on his face, but it turned to anger when he saw Marta. He wasn't angry at her. He was angry with himself, that he assumed she wanted the same things he did. Family, stability. Steve should've known that Marta wasn't like that.

        He tried not to be cruel to her, or make her feel worse than she looked, but sometimes Steve couldn't help it. He planned everything, he made sure Rebecca and Elizabeth were there, and she still said no. Steve tried to look at it from her perspective, and he tried to understand why she said no, but he didn't have the answers. Was it him? Had she not loved him like she said she did? Steve had been waiting nearly his whole life for Marta, and he let her go once he finally had her. It killed him.

        Bucky refused to pick sides during their breakup, though neither Steve nor Marta would dare to ask him to. Bucky's room was beside Steve's, so he would check on him every night and every morning, and he would accompany his sister when she underwent her physical therapy training to get the certification.

        Marta had been doing a side project since she joined the Aeronautical Division, but it was put on hold when the war heated up. She wanted to be a physical therapist, primarily working with veterans of war in all sections of the military. Colonel Phillips helped her continue on that path, and she advanced in her program every time she was in London.

        Three days before the next mission, Marta had gained her certification, and was now qualified to help injured and ill war veterans adapt to their lives and help relieve them of her pain. She was very excited, and Marta found herself rushing to tell Steve. It took her a minute to realize that she couldn't do that anymore.

        Instead, she found Peggy and told the news to her. Peggy was thrilled for Marta, and after practically forcing her close friend to talk about her feelings, the two ventured deeper into the SSR building. They proceeded to practice their aim with multiple types of guns, Marta releasing all of her pent up anger and agresssion on the wooden targets in front of her.

        She was angry. She was frustrated. And she was sad. There was no one else for Marta to blame for her misery than herself, and she did blame herself. She hurt Steve. She ruined everything. She said no. But she just wasn't ready.

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