Just a Lie

Pathetic

His actions were making me sick to my stomach. I couldn't believe that i was carrying the child of a monster. I couldn't play his games anymore.

I got up. I was struggling not to fall down. My head was feeling heavy and my eyes couldn't stay open.

I walked to the kitchen and I took the biggest knife I could find. I stayed there for a while thinking of what I should do.

My bad self won. I started walking upstairs while holding tightly the knife with my right hand. Something inside me was screaming at me. "No! Don't do it!" But i didn't listen.

I got upstairs and i was now facing his bedroom. Everything was so silent. I could hear my breath. I could hear my heart going crazy.

I bursted into the room furiously. Tom stared at me. He didn't seem like he was scared or worried about what i would do. He seemed so confident about himself. That made me way more angry than before.

He looked at me holding the knife and he immediately started laughing.

"Don't laugh at me! I swear I'll kill you!" I screamed, squeezing the knife in my hand.

"You think you can hurt me?" He asked still laughing.

I didn't answer. My second thoughts wouldn't let me speak.

He walked towards me looking angry. I pointed the knife at him. My hand was shaking so bad. I couldn't hold the knife properly.

He started walking towards me slowly. It felt so threatening. I was so scared. I started backing up silently.

Suddenly my back met the wall causing me to stop moving completely. I just stared at him scared.

Tom on the other hand was looking furious. He got close to me and grabbed both my wrists.

I gasped not being able to talk.

He pinned my hands on the wall above my head with force causing me to drop the knife.

"You think you can hurt me?" He asked again but this time it was almost a whisper.

I gasped as I saw him picking up the knife from the floor and throwing it across the room.

He then pinned my hands to the wall again. He pushed his body on mine. Our noses were almost touching which caused me to tilt my head so i could look away.

"Look at me" He whispered to my ear.

I didn't. I couldn't do it. His eyes were making me fold.

"Look at me!" He shouted causing me to flinch and look at him terrified. 

My eyes started to water and my heart started racing again. His hot breath sent shivers down my spine. I could feel his heart beat going crazy as well.

I just looked pathetic to him.

"I don't know if I should snap your neck or fuck the living shit out of you right now." He said calmly.

I tried to look disgusted but i couldn't because deep in me i knew that i wanted him to do the second.

"I would prefer the first" I said. I lied.

"You are so pathetic baby. I know you are soaking wet right now." He whispered while breathing heavily. I could feel him harden underneath his jeans.