Melody of death | English Version | Charles Leclerc FF

nine ఌ

While my parents prepared the last things in the kitchen and in the connecting dining room, I just stood in front of my mirror, thinking of what I should wear. It won't be a casual meeting with friends. Charles will be there. The man who saved my life... I really hoped that he wouldn't tell someone about this night. Otherwise I wouldn't just be fucked, I could probably pack my stuff and watch my parents bringing me into a psychiatry.

In the end I decided to go for a light blue top with thin straps and some beige cargo pants. I left my hair open, but combed it carefully. In my reflection, the waves fell long over my shoulders and reached me to my belly button. After that, I just applied some make-up, but pretty natural and then I was done.
I would say exactly on time, because at the same moment I reached for my phone, I heard the bell ringing. My pulse rose rapidly and I hesitated to climb down the stairs. In the living room, I took a last look in the wall mirror hanging under the clock. I turned away halfway satisfised. I listened to the voices I heard from the entrance area. My parents just greeted our guests audibly exuberantly. However, I decided to delay the first conversation with Pascale and Charles as long as possible, because I was honestly afraid to see them here. Especially because Charles is there and I have only known him recently, but Pascale has been there for years.

Nervously, I tried to get my breath under control. My former therapist once said: in demeaning situation, you have to look around the room and choose a colour. Then you list all the things that have this colour. This will regulate your feelings and you will feel how to concentrate and relax again.

So I looked around and counted all the blue things in this room. Back then, while I was in therapy, I often had panic attacks and so my therapist told me about this trick. Today its just stress, but the effect is still the same.

Suddenly the door behind me swung open and a few people came in. Firstly my parents, than Pascale and last but not least... Charles. Our eyes collided as if two planets, they immediately merged with each other. I forced myself to look away. Then I saw another young man, he was right behind Charles. He had to be Arthur.
"Hey", I greeted all of them and raised my hand. I let my gaze glide through the people, but in the end I found myself looking at Charles again. He smiled as I kept looking at him.

"Hey", he said with a calm voice as he came to a stand right next to his brother.
"Hi, I am Arthur.", the smaller one said as he reached his hand out to me. I accepted this kind gesture and also introduced myself.
"Oh, Célina. It's been a while since we last saw each other. How are you?" Pascale, the women with the shoulder-long, blond hair pulled me in for a hug.
"I am great, and you?", I wanted to know as we detached again.
"I am fine, thank you." She smiled happy, but in the corner of my eyes I could clearly see how she was looking down at my body. A uncomfortable feeling rose within me so I wrapped my arms around my belly, I think it was a reflex.
"Charles, don't you want to introduce yourself to Célina?", the mother of the two young adults asked and threw her son a questioningly look. I knew this look from my mom from the past, when she told me how to act when I met my uncle and his children. She always said I shouldn't be so silent. If she had known then what she had done with this acquaintance, she would have been guaranteed to have turned around again and immediately gone home with me...

Charles, who felt really uncomfortable with this situation, just as well as me, scratched his neck. He was probably thinking about what he should say now.
"Well...", he stumbled, not knowing what to do.
"Actually, we already know each other.", I said as he didn't seem to find his voice again. My parents and Pascale looked at each other with a surprising look but refused to say anything about it. Thank god. Nevertheless, their grin was not to overlook.

We sat down at the laid table, where Charles took a seat right next to me. While my parents carried all the edible things to the table, Arthur and Charles talked to their mom about something. Pascale and her sons offered to help my parents again and again, but mom and dad gratefully rejected the offer.

When I looked at the food, my stomach turned at least five times. The others were already reaching for a wide verity of snacks, while my plate remained empty. Only when my mother, who sat opposite me, gave an inconspicuous push against my foot, I woke up from my daydream and hesitantly reached for two tomato mozzarella skewers, that's all I got. After all, I knew that my mother wouldn't give me any fuss about my eating behaviour in front of all the other people.
In order not to attract too much attention to me, I took an extremely large amount of time for each stick. Meanwhile, I felt Charles gaze on me, but did not reply to him. I could already imagine that he thinks I'm weird.

My parents and Pascale talked like a waterfall about everything. Charles, Arthur and I were also briefly included, but only to give answers such as "yes", or "no". However, at some point my father wanted to know more details about Arthur's state of life, which is why only Charles and I sat wordless at the wooden table, on which a red candle flickered. It was already dark outside. All the voices that told stories in his room bounced off my ears as if by themselves. I only saw mouths moving, occasionally words penetrated through my consciousness, but that's it.

As I almost thought I got away without deep conversations or a lot of eye contact with Charles, he tried to get my attention by bending over to me. His voice was nothing more than a whisper.
"Would you like to go out or something? I don't think we both feel like just sitting around here, do we?" The brown-haired man smiled kindly and nodded towards the door. He really hit the spot. I really didn't feel like sitting around here, but I didn't plan to spend time alone with him, not even for a second. The problem was that for some reason, within a few moments I was no longer in control of myself.
In the end, I answered without really knowing what stumbled over my lips.
"Okay." I cleared my throat, surprised over what I've just said. Damn, what the fuck?! At the next moment, Charles already rose from his chair, looked at me and waited until I did the same. He gave his brother a quick sign and the elders didn't notice us going anyways...