[1.2] Poop & Pee | ✓

0.30

Sunday 18th October 2015. 9am, in the therapist office.

[In case of confusion, this is Poop in the therapist office and the therapist will always not be in bold]

"I read the notebook, after I stole it."

"Why did you steal it?"

"I was angry."

"Was?"

"I don't feel like that now."

"How do you feel like now?"

"An idiot."

"Why?"

"I was wrong."

"How were you wrong?"

"I blamed her."

"What do you mean?"

"My sister died, that caused a lot of arguments between my parents. So, at the end Mum left Dad. Divorced him and ran off with some other guy."

"How is this her fault though?"

"After Mum left, Dad was hardly ever home. He would be with her and I hated that."

"Why?"

"Because I needed him but she had him."

"What-"

"When he got charged for rape, I thought it was all a lie. I didn't even go to the court hearing."

"Why didn't you go?"

"I didn't want to see her, I thought she was lying."

"What made you change your mind?"

"The notebook, I read all of it. Start to finish."

"How did it make you feel?"

"Disgusted."

"Disgusted at what? Him?"

"No, disgusted at myself for blaming an innocent girl. When it was my Fathers fault."

"Have you seen you Father?"

"Yes, at the start. Before I read the notebook, I would visit him and he was a damn good actor."

"Did-"

"He convinced me that she did this. She caused everything, that it was her fault."

"Is that what you saw her as?"

"Before, yes. I saw her as the girl who lured my Dad, tricked her with her false innocence."

"Was that one of the lies your Dad said about her?"

"Yeah it was, he said that she had false innocence and that she used him."

"Did you trust your Father?"

"Yes, I did trust him. He is my dad, I thought he loved me. He taught me how to ride a bike, he picked me up when I fell but when Mum left he changed. But, even after all the evidence against him, I was stupid enough to trust him."

"You aren't stupid, you are his son. It is understandable to have that unconditional love and trust."

"When I read the notebook, I felt like he was another man. He didn't seem like my Dad at all."

"So you believe him to be..."

"You can say it, he is a rapist. He raped a minor, repeatedly. A girl the same age as me."

"Do you blame yourself?"

"I do not blame myself for the assaults but I blame myself for believing him. I should have known better to do that."

"Will you talk to her? Explain yourself to her?"

"Explain myself? I've lied to her and I've blackmailed her. I made her go into the school staff room, I lied saying it was for cheat sheets; when really I cut out a an old newspaper article of my Dad and left it on the table."

"Why did you do that?"

"I guess, after reading the notebook, a little part of me thought it wasn't true. The notebook, made him into something else entirely."

"What did he appear like in the notebook."

"He was cold, heartless, ruthless. Nothing like what I saw him as, nothing. It was just hard to believe but I believed it enough to not visit him. I just wasn't completely convinced, he's my Dad."

"So how did the plan convince you? What did you want out of the plan?"

"A reaction, I needed her not to be physically shaken. I needed it all to be a lie, I just wanted my Dad back."

"Did she react?"

"Yes, she called me. I didn't even have to see her, I could hear the fear in a her voice."

"Do you regret the plan?"

"Yes, I regret it but at the same time I needed to know. He is my dad."

"You should talk to her."

"Why would she talk to the son of a rapist?"

"Does she know who you are?"

"No but it is better that way."