The Ninja Slayer Extras: Headcannons and Drabbles

Incorrect Quotes #1

First Ninja: Bottling up negative emotions is bad for your health, so you shouldn't do it.
Giyuu: I know, that's why I bottle up all my emotions, both positive and negative, so it cancels out.
First Ninja: Th-that's not how that works-

Randy, during the Mugen Train Arc: Oooh, a train!
Giyuu: We're in a train station, Randy

First Ninja: *talking about Mac Antfree* Y'know, I once knew a man who said to me: "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." He also had a pair of sideburns that would cause even Jude Law's face to weep in forfeit. You put those lemons in a sack and beat your enemies with 'em! And maybe if you beat 'em hard enough the bag will split open and lemon juice will spray into their eyes, causing intense burning pains as you crush them into a citrus-y pulp!
Randy: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Their heads or the lemons?
First Ninja: Whatever caves first!

Giyuu: *cooking*
Randy: *kicks down door*
Randy: *grabs knife from Giyuu's hand*
Randy: WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR?
Giyuu:
Giyuu: What.
Zenitsu: He's trying to tell you he wants to cook.

First Ninja: What did you get on your shirt?
Randy: Rust.
First Ninja: From what?
Randy: Weapons.
Giyuu: Time for more adult supervision.

Zenitsu: *chokes on something*
Randy: Jeez, Zenitsu, don't die on us.
Zenitsu: Don't tell me what to do, I'll die whenever the hell I want!

Zenitsu: I'd like to live through a week that's not a whole new verse of "We Didn't Start the Fire."

First Ninja: And if you have any suggestions, please put them in the suggestion box.
Randy: That's a trash can.

First Ninja: *closes a cabinet*
*a crash is heard behind the cabinet door*
Giyuu: What was that?
First Ninja: The sound of someone else's problem.

Zenitsu: You use humor to deflect your trauma.
Randy: Awww, thanks-
Zenitsu: That's not a good thing.
Randy: All I'm hearing is that you think I'm funny.

*Giyuu and First Ninja are in a car teetering on the edge of a cliff*
Giyuu: oh my god, First Ninja, backwards!
First Ninja: Really, Tomioka? I thought I might go forwards into the river, I thought that would be a fun thing to do.

Randy: If bees can be fish and boys can be girls, then why can't my dad love me?
Zenitsu: I thought I was going to have to yell at you, but now I think I should hug you.

Zenitsu: How are you today?
Giyuu: Please don't make me think about my life.

Randy: Did you just call me a shrimp, you asshole?! I'm still growing, dammit!

Randy: When I was a kid, Howard told me that the paper strip that's in the chocolate kisses were edible and I ate them with the chocolate for a year.
Zenitsu: They are!
Randy: FOR REAL?
Giyuu: No! Why did you fall for it again?