The Ninja Slayer Extras: Headcannons and Drabbles

Incorrect Quotes #18

Randy: I don't want to fight you!
First Ninja: I wouldn't want you to fight me either!

First Ninja: I won a new phone in a race.
Giyuu: Huh? What kind of race lets you win a phone, First Ninja?
First Ninja: A race between the store owner, the cop, and me.

Randy: I tried to write 'I'm a functional adult' but my phone changed it to 'fictional adult' and i feel like that's more accurate.

Zenitsu: New challenge! Don't say stupid shit for 24 hours!

Zenitsu: Help, someone at prom has been killed!
Giyuu: Calm down, we don't need you to Panic! At the Disco.

Zenitsu: I think I mostly want to see what happens when this whole place breaks apart.

Zenitsu: I'm so jetlagged I can't even regrender my chorf.
*Everyone stares at Zenitsu*
Zenitsu: I don't even know what I was trying to say.

Randy, wearing shades: Rule one of destroying the world.
Randy: *does finger guns* You gotta look good while doing it.

Zenitsu: What'cha doin?
Randy: Stealing my neighbor's cat.
Zenitsu: Scandalous.
Zenitsu: Can I help?

Randy: Just so everyone knows, don't ever try to climb a tree at night carrying a strobe light, owls DON'T like it.
First Ninja: ...what happened?
Randy: I made a VERY bad mistake.

Randy, lying on the floor, depressed: I'll never be a cop. I'm gonna have to be a robber.

Randy: Can I offer you a nice stick in this trying time?

Giyuu: Did you just refer to a knife as a "people-opener"?
Zenitsu:
Zenitsu: ...Should I not have?

Giyuu: When I first got my autism diagnosis, my first thought was "woah... it's canon" and I think that maybe thoughts like that is why First Ninja made me get tested.

Randy: *walking around disappointed after visiting an aquarium*
Giyuu: Randy, what did you think a tiger shark was?

Giyuu: What's the status up here?
Randy: Fucked up, about to die, Zenitsu's a nerd. The usual.

First Ninja: I drink to forget but I always remember.
Randy: You're drinking orange juice.

Zenitsu: You're not my friend anymore.
Giyuu: I was your friend?

Giyuu: Would anyone know any good vendors for professional-quality brass knuckles?
Zenitsu: I know you're serious, but you say the scariest shit sometimes.

Zenitsu: *points at Giyuu* A human turtleneck, *points at First Ninja* a narcissistic monster, *points at Randy* and literally the dumbest person I've ever met.
Randy: And who am I? Describe me now.

Randy: Ha! What are you gonna do? Stab me?
*Five minutes later*
Randy, calling 911: HELP, IVE BEEN STABBED.

Zenitsu: Can we go to a haunted house?
Giyuu: What's wrong with the one we live in?
Zenitsu: Wh-what?
Giyuu: Goodnight, Zenitsu.

Giyuu: Okay, help me, please!
Nomicon: Got two words for you.
Randy: I bet they won't be helpful.
Nomicon: Your problem.
Randy: I was right.

Zenitsu: I don't have anything against you, but I can make up lots of reasons to attack you!!

Randy: What, I can't be in a bad mood? It's like people think, "Oh, Randy is such a nice person, Randy is so happy-go-lucky! Randy can't be in a bad mood!" Well, you know what? Randy CAN be in a bad mood. And right now, Randy IS be in a bad mood.

Giyuu: Did you miss me while I was gone?
Zenitsu: You were gone?

Randy: Sometimes I talk to myself for no reason.
Randy: Me too!

Nomicon: They don't make them like me no more. I'm the last of my kind.
Zenitsu: Thank god.

Nomicon: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.
First Ninja: This knife is actually a magic wand.
Randy: Meet me in the Denny's parking lot for a wizard duel.
Giyuu: *cocks gun* Magic missile.
Zenitsu: What the fuck is wrong with you people.