The Ninja Slayer Extras: Headcannons and Drabbles

Incorrect Quotes #13

Zenitsu: How's practice going?
Randy: Terrible. I want to stab everybody there.
Zenitsu: Okay, just don't get any blood on your clothes.
Randy: ...you shouldn't be condoning this.
Zenitsu: Don't tell me how to live my life.

Giyuu: I just drank a lego piece.
First Ninja: ...what the hell?! You melted plastic and drank the liquid?
Giyuu: Yes.
First Ninja: Why did you even melt a lego in the first place?!
Giyuu: Because it looked like chocolate! So I drank it! You know, like a chocolate shake?

Zenitsu: *slams books down in front of Giyuu*
Zenitsu: Boil up some Mountain Dew. It's gonna be a long night.
Giyuu: You could of said literally anything else.
Zenitsu: Cauldron boil and cauldron bubble, Baja Blast to fuel my trouble.
Giyuu: I'm going to just stop challenging you when you say random shit. I won't win. I realize this now.

First Ninja: Do you think different paints have different tastes?
Randy: They do.
Giyuu: ...Why did you say that with such certainty?

Randy: Hey, are you free?
Zenitsu: No, I'm expensive.

The Nomicon before Randy convinced it friendship was good: Maybe the true treasure was friendship all along. But I hope not, because I can't spend friendship on new clothes.

First Ninja, filling out legal paperwork: Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?
Giyuu: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.
Zenitsu: I personally was created in a lab.
Randy: I just straight up spawned lol.

First Ninja: Here's the cold medicine you asked for.
First Ninja: *dumps 3 shopping bags of wine on the table*
Giyuu: ...Thanks.

Giyuu: Are you listening to me?
Zenitsu: *nods*
Giyuu: What did I just say?
Zenitsu: *nods*
Giyuu: ...

Randy: I think Zenitsu is in trouble.
Giyuu: Alright. Struggling to give a fuck, if I'm honest.

Giyuu, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it-
Zenitsu, whispering: Should we call the exorcist?
Randy, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick.
First Ninja, appalled: Call the exorcist.

Zenitsu: Sometimes, I don't realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

First Ninja, watching Randy and Zenitsu fight: Are you sure they should be fighting? What if they get hurt?
Giyuu, not bothered by the chaos: It's fine. They're too evenly matched to hurt each other.
First Ninja: Then... who's the strongest out of you three?
Randy: Giyuu.
Zenitsu: Giyuu.
Giyuu: Me.

Giyuu: Whoa, Zenitsu, what's up with that angry face?
Zenitsu: Randy won't stop talking about how "Ancient Egyptians were furries".
Randy: But they were! Just looks at all their gods-
Zenitsu: Oh my god, SHUT UP!

Randy: Ok so, apparently the "bad vibes" I've been feeling are actually severe psychological distress.

Giyuu: Do you have any idea what you're doing?
Zenitsu: Why start now?

Zenitsu: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, that's fucked up. Like c'mon, you know I'm dumb as hell!

Randy: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on in here?!
Giyuu: It's kind of complicated, but Zenitsu-
Randy: Got it. Forget I asked.

Giyuu: Hey, thanks for checking in, I'm ✨still a piece of garbage✨

Randy, texting First Ninja: I'm a theif.
First Ninja: Thief.
Randy: Theif.
First Ninja: I before E except after C.
Randy: Thceif.
First Ninja: NO.

Zenitsu: Make no mistake. Not only am I party rocking, but I am also in the house tonight.
Randy: But are you shuffling?
Zenitsu: Everyday.
Giyuu: What language are you two speaking??

Zenitsu: *on the phone with Giyuu* I can't talk right now, I'm doing hot girl shit.
Giyuu: You're pulling Oreos apart and saving off the frosting to make a mega Oreo, aren't you.
Zenitsu: Maybe.

First Ninja: The clock is ticking! We don't have time for this asinine tomfoolery!
Randy: This unmitigated poppycock?
Giyuu: Extravagant hogwash!
First Ninja: Okay, stop.

Randy: Can we go out to get ice cream?
First Ninja: Did you ask Giyuu?
Randy: He said no.
First Ninja: Then why did you ask me?
Randy: He's not the boss of you.
First Ninja, internally: It's a trap, it's a trap, it's a trap.