The Ninja Slayer Extras: Headcannons and Drabbles

Incorrect Quotes #8

Giyuu: Randy just insisted Zenitsu and I remember a code word in case we're ever confronted by his clone or a cyborg doppelgänger and we're not sure which is the real him and which is the imposter. 
Giyuu: Some families have a fire escape plan, but not us.

Randy: The fastest way to a Zenitsu 's heart is through ch- 
Giyuu: Chest cavity. 
Randy: 
Randy: Cheese.

Randy: I wouldn't put it in those words exactly. 
First Ninja: Why not? 
Randy: Because I don't know what they mean.

Giyuu: Is... Is that meant to be on fire? 
Randy: No... not really. 
Giyuu: Are you going to do something about it? 
Randy: Hm... nah.

Zenitsu: When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Agatsuma Zenitsu lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the person who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my Ninja friends to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!

Randy, washing the dishes: Who the fuck used this pan?? 
Randy: Wait. I the fuck used this pan... 
Zenitsu: It was you the fuck. 
Randy: It was I the fuck... 
Giyuu: Who cooks rice in a pan? 
Zenitsu: He the fuck.

Randy, tearing up the room: Where are they? 
Randy, looking under a pillow: Who moved them? Who moved my children? 
Randy: Somebody moved my M&M's, and now I am going to start killing.

Zenitsu: If I see a bug, I simply leave the room elegantly and require someone else do something about it. 
Zenitsu: If no one fulfills my wish, I simply never go back in there.

Randy: What the fuck? People actually tell their crushes they like them?? 
Zenitsu: What the hell do you do? 
Randy: I die? What kinda question...

Giyuu: What's this? 
Randy, hugging Giyuu: Affection! 
Giyuu: Disgusting. 
Giyuu: ...Do it again.

Giyuu: What do you do for a living? 
Zenitsu: I exist against my will.

Randy: I mean, sure, I have my bad days, but then I remember what a cute smile I have.

First Ninja, sitting in the Water Estate: *Talking to Zenitsu * Oh, hi. I didn't see you there. Welcome to my abode. I'm glad you could join me. 
Giyuu: But this is my abode. 
First Ninja: ... 
First Ninja: Welcome to my abode, I'm so happy to have you, guest. 

Randy: *Gasp* 
Zenitsu: What?? 
Randy: What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish? 
Zenitsu: *inhales* 
Giyuu, in another room with First Ninja: Why can I hear screeching?

First Ninja, first time meeting Zenitsu: I need you to come meet me, and I need you to come alone. 
Zenitsu: And I need you to be less vague and weird.

Zenitsu: That's the longest worm I've ever seen. 
Randy: That's a snake.

First Ninja: I think you're still suffering the effects of your party last night. 
Giyuu: All I drank was Redbull! 
First Ninja: How many? 
Giyuu: Eighteen.

Randy: How has life been treating you lately? 
Zenitsu: Horribly.

First Ninja: Ladies, gentlemen and Zenitsu , I want to show you the greatest thing your eyes have ever beheld! 
Randy: A llama? 
First Ninja: No. 
Randy: A baby llama? 
First Ninja: No! 
Randy: A baby llama with a little hat on? 
First Ninja: NO!

Randy, trying to comfort Giyuu: What's the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I've been there.

Randy: It's not like I try to blow things up, exactly. It just sort of happens. You've got to admit though, fire is fascinating.

Zenitsu: I love cooking breakfast. It makes the whole house smell like bacon.
Randy: That's true, but it also smells like fire and panic.
Zenitsu: You and the smoke detector need to get off my case.