The Ninja Slayer Extras: Headcannons and Drabbles

Incorrect Quotes #45

Zenitsu, holding a scooter: Giyuu! Can I go outside and play with this?
Giyuu: Sure, whatever. I'm not your parent, okay?
Zenitsu, running outside: Thanks Giyuu!
Giyuu, running out after them and screaming: NOT ON THE STREET! STAY AWAY!

Giyuu: *mixing different alcoholic beverages together*
First Ninja: What are you making?
Giyuu: A mistake.

Randy: I am very small and I have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress that I'm under.

Zenitsu: *looks over Randy's shoulder at their laptop* What the fuck?
Randy: *slams screen shut* It's just research! For something I'm writing about! I swear that's it!
Zenitsu: Why the hell would that involve the breeding habits of frogs?
Randy: It's not just "frogs", it's the Surinam Toad. And it's not "breeding habits", it's how they raise their young. This is important information my audience needs to know!
Zenitsu: That doesn't change the fact this is for one line in a fanfiction.
Randy, offendedly: You don't know that!
Zenitsu: I hear no denial.

Zenitsu: Why are you like this??
Giyuu: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since.

Zenitsu: State your name, rank, and intention.
First Ninja: First Ninja, First Ninja, fun.

Randy: No, I don't want to talk about physics! I don't know anything about the laws of physics because they are hard and boring. I simply would like them to behave in a way that is most convenient to ME and MY LIFE! Is that really asking too much?
Zenitsu: Yes, as a matter of fact, it is!
Randy: Well, guess what? Science is stupid bullshit!!
Zenitsu: You take that back!!!
Randy: No. Magic is awesome. Science blows. The end.

Randy: I got us matching friendship bracelets, and you say I don't care about our relationship.
Zenitsu: These are handcuffs.
Randy: Yeah, 'cause we're partners in crime!

Randy: I'm quick at math.
Zenitsu: Ok, what's 38 times 76?
Randy: 24.
Zenitsu: That wasn't even close.
Randy: But it was quick.

Zenitsu: Damn, First Ninja, are you secretly cool?
First Ninja: Well, poker is just math, so I guess it depends on if you consider the mathematician, Carl Friedrich Gauss, cool.
Zenitsu: I do not.

Zenitsu: It's not our fault!
Giyuu: Yeah, but... Come on, the least we can do it talk to them.
Zenitsu: No, the least we could do is nothing!

Randy: Zenitsu's amazing at concentrating. Once he starts reading, the only way he'll notice you is if you take his book away. Not even if you hit him or shake him!
Giyuu: That was him ignoring you.

Randy: Where is First Ninja?
Zenitsu, before meeting him: I'll do you one better, who is First Ninja??
Giyuu: Here's a better question, why is First Ninja?

Zenitsu: What do conductors even do, like actually?
Randy: Help musicians keep time.
First Ninja: Drive the train, I think.
Giyuu: Allows for the flow of change through in one or more directions.