The Ninja Slayer Extras: Headcannons and Drabbles

Incorrect Quotes #16

Randy, first time meeting Giyuu: Count me in!
Giyuu: Who the hell are you?!
Randy: Oh, you know my dad! He worked at Wendy's.
Giyuu: Oh yeah, First Ninja! How is he doing?
Randy: Oh yeah, not too good. He's been dead for the past month.
Zenitsu, popping up out of nowhere: What the hell, he didn't tell us!

Randy: If you water water, it grows.
Giyuu: ...What.
Zenitsu: He's got a point.

Zenitsu: I'm genuinely surprised you haven't gotten arrested, let alone gotten a felony yet.
Randy: Nat 20 Charisma.
Zenitsu: That is NOT how that works-

Zenitsu: You disgust me.
Randy: *eating a kitkat sideways* I realize this and don't care.

Randy: What do you want for breakfast, Giyuu?
Giyuu: Gay Cheerios.
Randy: I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING FRUIT LOOPS THAT!!

Zenitsu: Do you guys want to see a butterfly?
Randy: Ooh, yes please!
Giyuu, with their laptop open: I'm not going to stop working to look at a stupid bug!
Zenitsu: It's not a bug though...
Giyuu: ...
Randy: ...
Giyuu: Well I still don't want to see.
Randy, realizing: Please don't throw-
Zenitsu: Whee! *throws a stick of butter*

Zenitsu: I'm going the fight the next person who insults Giyuu.
Giyuu: I hate myself.
Zenitsu: Alright, square up.

Bailiff: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
Zenitsu: No.

Randy: Have you done this before?
Giyuu: Well, Randy, it's like if you read the script you come better prepared.
Zenitsu: That's not what we do in the US, we don't read things.
Randy: I don't read, Giyuu.

Giyuu: I apologize for saying 'fuck' in front of Randy.
First Ninja: You just said it again.
Randy:
Giyuu: I am not a role model.

Giyuu: Come on, you need to go to bed.
Zenitsu: Mr. Snuffles says that I can stay up as long as I want. And that you need to die!
Giyuu: ...
Giyuu: What the hell, Mr. Snuffles—

Randy: Hey, I say we go down there, kick Zenitsu's door in, and let him know that we're in town.
Giyuu: That ain't the way we do things here. We may have to go in there and run a con, drop a bug, do the smooth talking.
Randy: Okay, you come with me, you do the smooth talking, let's go.
Giyuu: No, we just can't go in there and kick down Zenitsu's door. We need a plan.
Randy: Well who makes the plans?
Giyuu: First Ninja.
Randy: First Ninja, what's the plan?
First Ninja: You guys are gonna go down there, kick Zenitsu's door in, let him know you're in town.

Kidnapper: I have one of your friends.
Zenitsu: Which one? I have seven.
Kidnapper: The loud, annoying, rowdy one who never shuts up.
Zenitsu: Which one? I have seven.
Randy, distantly: HEY!!!

Randy: You look really stressed.
Zenitsu: Haha, it's the stress.

Giyuu: You borrowed a crane?
Randy: Not exactly.
Zenitsu: You stole a crane?!
Randy: Exactly.

Zenitsu: But seriously, what is the real plan here that has to do with not fucking around?
Giyuu: There is no plan that does not involve fucking around. But we will make sure all of our fucking around will be applied in a constructive direction.

Zenitsu: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life.
Giyuu: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?
Zenitsu: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.
Randy: Edible.

Randy: I made lightly fried fish fillets for dinner.
Zenitsu: Randy, It's 1:15 am, what the fuck.
Randy: Do you want the lightly fried fish fillets or not.
Zenitsu: Well, I mean yeah.
Randy: So come downstairs while they're still hot.
Zenitsu: Wait, you just made them?
Randy: Yeah, I wasn't tired so I decided to make lightly fried fish fillets.
Zenitsu: Say lightly fried fish fillets one more time Randy.

Randy: If history repeats itself, I'm so getting a dinosaur!

Randy: I don't remember that.
Giyuu: Do you remember that night last week when you slept in a revolving door?
Randy: ...No.
Giyuu: Okay, do you remember when you were chased by those wild dogs for two miles?
Randy: Not especially, no.
Giyuu: It was in between those two things.