The Ninja Slayer Extras: Headcannons and Drabbles

Incorrect Quotes #4

Zenitsu: I just ended a five year relationship.
Randy: Oh no, are you okay?
Zenitsu: It's okay, it wasn't mine.

Giyuu: Someone will die...
Randy: Of fun!

Giyuu: I have a bad feeling about this...
Randy: What do you mean?
Giyuu: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble?
Randy: No?
First Ninja: That actually explains so much.

Giyuu: Okay, looking good. Okay, ciders mulling, turkey's turking, yams are yamming ... What?
First Ninja: I don't know. It's just not the same without Randy in the kitchen.
Giyuu: All right, that's it. Just get out of my way and stop annoying me.
First Ninja: That's closer.

Zenitsu, talking about the ninjas: I'm here for the cult stuff.
Giyuu: How did you find us?
Zenitsu: I saw your ad on craigslist.

Giyuu: Everyone synchronise your watches.
First Ninja: I don't know how to do that.
Zenitsu: I don't wear a watch.
Randy: Time is a construct.

Randy: When I said you should try being friendlier this isn't what I meant.
Giyuu, stirring a cup of tea aggressively: Oh, so now I'm TOO friendly? There's no pleasing you.
Zenitsu, who broke into their house an hour ago: Two sugars please.
Giyuu: Coming right up.

Randy, who lives in the modern world: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.
Randy, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.

Zenitsu: Last night I found out Randy is a sleep talker.
Giyuu: Oh, really?
Zenitsu: "The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell." Right. In. My. Ear. At 3am.

Randy: I may be stupid.
Giyuu and Zenitsu: ...
Randy: Oh, did you think I was going to finish that sentence?

Randy: I'm not that stupid!
Giyuu: Randy, you literally ate the wax from a babybel.
Randy: HOWARD TOLD ME IT WAS EDIBLE!

Giyuu: In your opinion, what is the height of stupidity?
Zenitsu, turning to Randy: How tall are you?

First Ninja: The waiter at Olive Garden has been grating my cheese for 6 hours now, waiting for me to say when. Customers are screaming. Three people have died.
First Ninja: I will not yield.

Randy: What have I done wrong?!
Nomicon: Everything. For your entire life.

Randy: Well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my actions.

Randy: Uh, I think I got your lunch. *Holds up a note that reads: 'I am very proud of you. Love, Giyuu'*
Zenitsu: Oh yeah. I didn't think this was for me. *Holds up a note that reads: 'Be good. For the love of God, Please be good.'*

Randy: Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way.

Zenitsu: That sounds like a terrible plan.
Randy: Oh, we've had worse.

First Ninja: Though I admit I don't know much about you, I am feeling pretty confident in my assessment that you are probably some sort of sick deadly fuck.
Zenitsu: Who told you my secret?