The Ninja Slayer Extras: Headcannons and Drabbles

Incorrect Quotes #26

Nomicon: So, you're looking for information on this thing, huh? Well, I feel like it must be from far away.
First Ninja: What makes you say that?
Nomicon: If it's something even I don't know about, then I'm sure nobody else must have a clue. So, it's gotta be from some faraway place. Impeccable reasoning, isn't it?
First Ninja: Nomicon... You don't have a clue about this thing, do you?
Nomicon: *screams in anger*

Giyuu: Zenitsu and I were crossing the street, and this man drove by and honked at us.
Randy: What did you do?
Giyuu: He chased him to the next red light, and reached into his window, and-
Zenitsu: *walking in* Who wants a steering wheel?

Randy: The dinosaurs didn't rule the earth, they were just alive. Stop giving them credit for administration skills they didn't have.

Giyuu, handing out popsicles: Which flavor do you want?
Randy: Blue flavor!
Giyuu: Uh, you mean Blue Raspberry?
Randy: Blue flavor! Blue flavor!
Giyuu: Blue is not a flavor!
Randy: BLUE FLAVOR!

Randy: I did it! I memorized everything in the book! I'm gonna ace this test!
Giyuu: Ok, Randy, I'll give you one more question before you go. What ended in 1918?
Randy: 1917.
Giyuu: ...You're ready.

First Ninja: What the hell were you thinking?
Randy: I heard releasing birds at a wedding is romantic!
First Ninja: You released OSTRICHES!

Randy: Good news! I didn't screw up!
Giyuu: ...
Randy: I screwed up less badly than usual!
Giyuu: ...
Randy: Screwed up with less immediate consequences than usual.

*In a group chat*
First Ninja: A pegan just flew into my window.
Giyuu: Pegan?
Nomicon: A what?
Randy: Ah yes, my favorite bird, Pegan.
Zenitsu: I thought you said penguin for a second, LMAO!
Randy: Just a normal day with flying penguins crashing into my window.
Zenitsu: You have pigeons flying into your window? Can't relate, I have penguins flying into my window.
First Ninja: I literally just made a typo-

Zenitsu: Guess who just found out the difference between wax paper and parchment paper the hard way?
Giyuu: Wait, what's the difference?
Zenitsu: One you can use in the oven safely, and the other you can also use in the oven... if the thing you are trying to make happens to be fire.

Giyuu to Zenitsu: Me? I'm the bee knees, but you? You're just...
Randy: Cockroach ankles!
Giyuu: Ye- uh, what?

First Ninja: I desire moisture.
Randy: Please just say "I want water" like a normal person.

First Ninja: Problem, I can't tell if this food is over-sauced or undercooked.
Zenitsu: Solution, just pop it back in the oven for another 10 minutes. There's at least a 50% chance that'll fix it, right?
Giyuu: Result? Food has somehow become unpleasantly soggy and unpleasantly crunchy at the exact same time.
Randy: No better time than this to pull out my favorite word! Slunchy!
Nomicon: ...put it away.

Zenitsu: *fast-forwards all the way through the movie*
Randy: You can't just skip to the happy ending!
Zenitsu: I don't have time for their problems.

Giyuu: Zenitsu...
Zenitsu: I can tell by the tone of your voice that you are disappointed. Alas, I must further disappoint you by affirming how little I give a fuck.

Giyuu: Adulting is hard.
Giyuu: How do I quit?
Randy: Time travel.
Zenitsu: Die.

Giyuu: Damn, the power went out.
Zenitsu: Don't worry, I got this.
Zenitsu: *stomps foot*
Giyuu: What-?
Zenitsu: *Sketchers light up*

Nomicon: First Ninja likes to win. When he was 8, a little Club Scout friend of his bragged they could sell the most cookies.
Nomicon: Damned if First Ninja didn't walk the neighborhood till he got blisters on his feet and won by 10 boxes.
Nomicon: Best part is, First Ninja wasn't even a Club Scout.

Randy: I want to grow up and be like Giyuu!
Giyuu: That is called Acquiring Depression.

Randy: It's time to turn this into a real business.
Giyuu: What do you mean? Like, carry a briefcase, and wear a tie, and pay taxes?
First Ninja: Wait, have you not been paying your taxes?
Zenitsu: I handle our accounting.