My Life with the Rymans

Chapter 3

As I sit in after school detention I realize just how disgusting this school really is. There's a plastic sign above the door that says "please treat Chesterfield High School like you'd treat your home and keep it clean". My home doesn't have 4 inches of dust on the baseboards but sure. A new boy named Mason sits beside me and quietly offers me gum. I smile and take it. He says he just moved here from Chicago. I give him my condolences. He thanks me.

After detention I go home and head to my room. My mom stops me. "It's 4:30. Where have you been? I called Steph and she said you hadn't been there." Fuck, thanks Bonnie. "I got detention, mom." She put her hands on her face dramatically. "What for, Lizzy?" I tell her what happened with the pencil. "That's a really stupid reason to get detention." I looked at her in disbelief. "I didn't do it on purpose. I was just giving him a pencil." I turn the other direction and start walking towards the door. "Where are you going, I was going to make dinner." I turn back around and say, "I'm not hungry and I'm going to Bonnie's. Thanks, anyway." She stands there, defeated, and nods her head. I immediately feel sad.

I get to Bonnie's room and she's on the phone with Samantha. She's talking very animated, bouncing up and down like a child at the circus. Weird for Bonnie. I sit down on the floor. She finally hangs up, grinning from ear to ear. "What happened?" I ask. She smiles bigger and says, "Sam had sex with Jason after 3rd period today! Finally!" I felt like the wind knocked out of me. "Oh, my god. That's awesome," I managed to squeak out. Bonnie goes into more detail of how it happened and I stop listening. I get up and tell her I'm going to get a snack.

I see Devin's door is cracked and I hear Pearl Jam playing from his boombox. I open the door and he doesn't hear me come in. He's sitting on his bed facing his window. I get closer to the bed and sit down hard. He spins around and sighs relief. "Uh, hi Liz, what do you want?"
I smile and say "an apology for getting me detention." He looks at me apologetically and says "yeah that wasn't cool. Sorry." I sit for a second without saying anything. "What?", he asks. I look up and say, "I know how you can make it up to me." He looks intrigued. "Oh yeah? What's that?" So I say with as much confidence as I can possibly muster, "take my virginity." He short circuits and his mouth goes agape. He moves further away from me almost instinctively. He laughs quietly and whispers, "you cannot be serious." I stare right into eyes and say, "I'm as serious as a heart attack, Devin." He's white as a piece of paper. "Why would you want me to do that?", he asks. I sigh and tell him the truth. "Because all of my friends have had sex and I can't go to college a virgin. I just can't. It's social suicide. You're hot and I know you know what you're doing so my first time won't be terrible. I won't get attached to you because you're my best friend's brother and I've known you since we were toddlers. You'd be doing me a solid." His jaw is on the ground. He doesn't speak for a few seconds. "Liz. No. I can't do that. I don't have much of a moral high ground but I have to draw a line here. It would be weird and wrong." Frustrated, I snap, "why would it be wrong? We already know each other really well and we would very easily go back to not being friends. No strings remotely attached. I'm serious. I'm going to college far away in 6 months. It's the perfect opportunity." He thinks for a few seconds. Finally he says, "no. Liz, think about what you're asking me here. I can't. I'm sorry. I actually like you as a person. Find someone else. That should be easy for you. Now go before my freak sister hears us." I groan over dramatically and storm out. I go back into Bonnie's room and she's on the phone with Samantha again. Angry and jealous, I can't take it anymore so I grab my things and go without saying a word. I hear Bonnie yell my name as I'm going down the stairs. Before I get all the way downstairs I slowly creep back into Devin's room. Before he can say anything I whisper painfully, "is it because you aren't attracted to me?" I hate myself for asking this. Devin hesitates, then opens his mouth to speak but before he can I run back downstairs and out the door.

The next morning is Saturday and I wake up at 10am to the sound of my mom on the phone. I can tell she talking to my dad. I faintly hear something like, "I don't know, Paul. She's eighteen. This is how eighteen year old girls behave. She's fine, no different than I was at her age." I bury myself under the covers. My mom knocks on the door seconds later. "Lizzy? Your dad wants to talk to you." I don't respond. "Lizzy, come on." I get up and open the door. She shoves the phone at me and walks away.

"Hey, dad."
"Hey, Lizzy. Are you alright? I heard you got detention. I hope your mom wasn't too hard on you."
"No, she actually wasn't. It was stupid."
"Good. Do you want to get some lunch today? I can pick you up on my way into town. We can go to that weird Thai restaurant you like."
I laugh. "Sure dad. Can Grandmother come, too?" She's the only person who makes me feel at ease anymore.
"Yes, Scooter. She'd love to."

A few weeks go by and school is kicking my ass. I'm taking all honors classes to secure my college spot. I've barely seen Bonnie. She hasn't called, came by or anything and I hate it. She has started dating Holly Jackson like she said she would. Holly is very... interesting. She's artsy and talks a lot. Too much. I don't like her. I saw them kissing in Bonnie's car and I cringed involuntarily. Samantha said they've already started having sex. I felt bad for Spencer. He says he misses Bonnie and is shocked she moved on so quickly. When I'm in English Lit, I don't even acknowledge Devin since the conversation in his room a few weeks ago. I am so humiliated. I catch him staring at me often. Today was different. I got to class and there was a tiny gum wrapper in my seat and my name was written on it in even tinier letters. I sneakily opened it before class started. It read, "I'll do it". I turned to Devin and he smirked. I turned around with no emotion but smiled so big when I knew he couldn't see me.