My Life with the Rymans

Chapter 21

Everyone left Devin's by midnight including Bonnie and Holly. It was a fun night but I definitely had too many margaritas and was happy to sit on the couch with Devin watching some TV before bed. Devin turned on a rerun of Friends and I laughed so hard at Chandler Bing being hypnotized to quit smoking I was crying. Devin watched me in delight and laughed too. "Oh, my god, you're so drunk, Lizzy. It's so funny. I don't know if I've ever seen you like this." I wiped a tear from my face. "I don't know if I've ever...been this...drunk before." I was still laughing so hard. "I'm going to hate myself in the morning." Devin nodded, "yeah, probably. But I'll take care of you."

Devin carried me upstairs a little while later. I told him I wanted to take a shower and asked if he would help me. We both got undressed and he got in with me and washed me. It was sexy as hell but we didn't have sex at all. I love that we can be naked and so close together but it isn't expected of me to sleep with him. It was wonderful, and so sweet. He washed me everywhere, my hair included. I couldn't stop smiling at him. When he was done he towel dried me and helped me put on my bathrobe. I got in bed and he brought me water, Tylenol, and a grilled cheese. I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. After I demolished the grilled cheese, I put on one of Devin's t-shirts and a pair of his boxer shorts. I passed out immediately.

I awoke the next morning by myself in bed. My head felt like someone had taken a hammer to it. I have NEVER been this hungover in my life. My whole body ached. I sat up and a small trash can lined with a grocery bag was next to my side of the bed. Oh no. It's happening. I reached for it and immediately puked into it. I made a mental note to thank Devin for that. There was water next to my bed. I downed all of it and let out a dramatic whine. Fucking hell. I just need to be put out of my misery at this point. After a few minutes, I finally got up and made it to the bathroom where I lie down on the cold tile. I was covered in sweat. I felt another wave of nausea hit again and managed to hoist myself up to the toilet in time to vomit. It just kept coming. I turned on the shower and removed my clothes.  I got in and sat in the floor letting the cold water rain onto me. I think I'm still a little drunk. I hugged my knees and vomited again, in the shower. "Oh, shit, that's so fucking gross!" I said out loud. It was just clear liquid though as this point, thank god. Devin must have heard me because he opened the door, "Lizzy! Are you alright? Oh, my god. Let me help you." He reached in the shower and pulled me out. I was having Deja vu from last night. He wrapped a towel around me and put me back in bed. "No! Don't look in the trash can!" He shook his head. "It's fine, Lizzy. I'll get rid of it." Holy shit. He's literally perfect. I laid there terrified to move for fear of vomiting. He came back in the room after discarding the trash bag. "I ordered Waffle House and I'm going to pick it up. Are you going to be okay?" I tried to smile. "Yes, baby, I'm fine. Thank you. So much." He smiles sympathetically, "I'll be right back."

Devin returned about 20 minutes later and I still haven't moved. He helped me out of bed and I drank a ton of water and some Sprite. He sat me on the couch downstairs and brought me hashbrowns, a waffle, a bacon egg and cheese sandwich, and toast. I looked at him. "I didn't know what to get you so I ordered a smorgasbord." I couldn't speak. I ate the sandwich and hashbrowns. I felt a little better after that and I laid down on the couch. He brought me a cold wash cloth and placed it on my head. I started crying. "Lizzy, what is it?" I sobbed, "you. You're perfect. You're amazing. I can believe you'd do all of this for me." He sat down next to me and put my head in his lap. "Lizzy, I love you. This is what you do for people that you love. I don't even think twice about it." I swooned. "But I literally did this to myself. I was stupid." He shrugged. "So? It happens. I'm still going to take care of you and help you feel better. I don't like watching you in pain. Self-inflicted or not," he smiled. "I'll never get over just how selfless and kind you are. Thank you, for...loving me," I whispered. He ran his fingers through my hair. "It's my pleasure."

Apparently I fell asleep on the couch because I woke myself up snoring. How lovely. I was parched and Devin was nowhere to be found. I grabbed some water and drank until I couldn't anymore. I felt much better but still had an awful headache. I went upstairs looking for Devin and nearly collided with Bonnie as she was coming down. I laughed and then winced as I grabbed my head. "Oh, Liz. You've looked better." I rolled my eyes, "yeah, thanks. When did you get here?" We both walked down the stairs and sat on the bottom step. "I came home about 30 minutes ago. You were passed out. I wondered if you were dead for a second but when I realized you were alive I snapped a Polaroid for blackmail purposes," she smiled mischievously and mimicked taking a photo. I gasped, "you didn't." She nodded, "oh, I definitely did. Don't worry, it's in a safe place." She giggled and I swatted her arm. "Still the same old Bonnie Ryman, huh?" She laughed, "I'm nothing if not consistent." Her face suddenly turned serious. "Listen, I'm sorry if last night was weird for you. I wasn't planning on coming over but when I mentioned it to Holly she wanted to come. I didn't think Samantha was going to ask about us dating. I should've known better." I shook my head and said, "B, you don't have to worry about me. I'm happy for you and when I said that last night, I truly meant it. And no offense, but Devin is the perfect boyfriend and I love him so much, B." She rolled her eyes and smiled. "Of course he is. He's smitten with you. But you're amazing, too Liz. Don't forget that." I looked down. "I don't deserve him." She pulled my head to face hers. "Dude. Are you kidding, me? Liz. You are the most deserving, patient, kind-hearted person I know. I took advantage of that for years, so I would know." She let out a small giggle and went serious again. "Seriously, Liz. Devin is just as lucky here. Don't be so hard on yourself." I gave her a hug. She hugged me back. I leaned back to look at her. "This is nice, B. I've missed you." She grabbed my hand. "I've missed you, Liz. I know it's just been your lifelong dream to visit New Hampshire..." We burst out laughing. "But if you ever get the urge for a change of scenery, I'd love to have you come hang out." I laid my head on her shoulder. "Sounds good, B." She stood up. "Ugh, I gotta go," she groaned. I gave her a confused look. "I got a freaking job. I'm tutoring middle school kids at the library. It sucks, but it's easy money. I'm part of the system!" I smiled, impressed. "Good for you, B." She said goodbye and left. Wow, she's really doing better.

I go into Devin's room and quietly open the door. He's passed out on the bed. Poor thing, I wore him out. He looks adorable. I stare at him for a moment, then get under the covers and snuggle beside him. He opens his eyes and stretches. "Oh, I'm so sorry I woke you." He smiled, "it's okay, I only needed a few minutes. You look like you feel somewhat better, huh?" I sat up, "oh yeah, much better. Especially now that I'm here with you." I kissed his cheek and nestled myself on his chest.

"So, about last night, with the college stuff," he started. I put my hand up. "Devin, I was drunk and emotional after hearing about Samantha's breakup. We said we wouldn't discuss it until graduation." He sighed. "Maybe we should discuss it sooner. Like, now?" I was surprised by this. I sat up and faced him. "Really? Now?" He nodded, "yeah." I raised my eyebrows. "Okay, let's get it over with. What are you thinking?" He sat up a little straighter and after a beat said, "Liz, I'd be really stupid not to go to Auburn. The scholarships are great and I really think I have the best chance to make soccer there. But here's the thing, and this is why I want to talk about it now, I want you to go where you want to go. Don't even factor me into it. If you truly have your heart set on Auburn, then great, I'd love it. But I'll love it even more if you want to go there for yourself. Regardless of where you end up, we will still be together." I started to cry. Because I knew where I wanted to go, and it wasn't Auburn. He just sat there, so beautiful, waiting for my response. And for the first time I said what I've been thinking ever since I got the acceptance letter. "Devin," I sighed, "I'm going to UGA. I'm sorry," I sobbed. He pulled me to him. "Do not apologize for knowing what you want. I'm glad you know and I'm glad you are making your own decision. It's going to be hard but we are not breaking up. I won't lose you again. I'll do anything to make it work. 3 hours is nothing." I cried harder, "but Devin, you're going to be so busy with soccer, school, and new friends." He wiped my tears and cupped my face. "Listen, none of it matters more than you do. That's if I even make soccer." I interrupted him. "You will." I smiled as I said it, still crying. "Did you hear me, Liz? I'm not losing you. Ever again." Still holding my face, his lips crashed into mine. We kissed hard and passionately. I was never letting him go. Our clothes went flying off, mouths were everywhere, desperately clinging to each other. I needed to be close to him. I needed him inside of me, relentlessly. For the first time in my life, I made love. I made actual love to the man of my dreams. This was so much more than sex. Nothing else even compares. We were one. We don't really know what the future holds, but we have right now.