My Life with the Rymans

Chapter 34

The following week, I am sitting in my kitchen making a to-do list for school when the phone rings.

"Liz? Hi, it's Tori. I hope it's okay, Jillian gave me your number."
"Hi, Tori. Totally fine, I was hoping you'd call."
"This is kind of last minute, I was supposed to work at the bar tonight but my shift was covered. Would you like to meet me for a drink if you're free?"
"I'm free. Let's do it."
"Great. I hope meeting in Atlanta isn't too far for you."
"Not at all. I can crash at Jillian's, well, your place, too," I laugh.
"Perfect. There's a new spot called Peter Paul's on Peachtree that's supposed to be a cool scene. 8 o'clock?"
"See you there."

Frantic, I quickly run upstairs to find an outfit and pack a bag. If I'm staying at Jillian's that means Tori and I could easily sleep together, but I'm not sure I'm ready for that. Devin and I haven't even spoken since the breakup, but it just feels wrong to be intimate with another person so soon. With Jillian it was different. There were no feelings there but Tori, she makes me feel things I'm not sure I've ever felt barely knowing her. Nauseous, alive, and hyper aware of my sexuality. It's terrifying but my god, so overwhelmingly hot.

I decide on a red tube top that exposes a hint of my midriff but mainly shows off my breasts. I pair that with some black denim cut-offs and some Converses. I fix my hair in a messy, Pamela Anderson type ponytail.

I leave an hour early even though the bar is only half an hour from my house. I'm a giant ball of nerves as I pull in. It's only 7:35 so I sit in my car and continue my to-do list in my head as a distraction but all I do is picture Devin in my head and I start feeling immeasurable guilt. I miss him. So much. Especially when I'm alone. I've picked up the phone to call him at least 3 times forgetting, but knowing Devin, he probably wouldn't mind.

At 8 on the dot I walk into Peter Paul's and I don't see Tori yet, so I sit at the bar and order a martini with my fake ID. I think Tori knows I'm only nineteen but maybe I should remind her. The bar is quaint and small. Not many tables. The actual bar is pretty large comparatively. The vibe reminds me of a speakeasy. The walls are covered with eclectic wallpaper and abstract art in ornate golden frames. It's almost too dark but in a moody, intimate way.

Tori walks in about 10 minutes later and spots me immediately. She wears the trench coat again with a black fringe mini dress underneath. She scoots in close to me and I shiver. "I'm sorry I'm late, traffic is ridiculous," she sighs. "It's no problem," I smile. "How are you?", she asks. "I'm good. I spent most of the day getting ready for college. You are aware I'm nineteen right? I hope that's not a problem," I say nervously. She laughs, "yes, I know. Jillian told me you had a fake," she whispers. "I guess I also kind of forgot you weren't 21 because you don't strike me as a nineteen year old." Confused I ask, "what do you mean?" She overcorrects, "no, no, I mean it in a good way. You're mature and really smart. If I'm being honest, you intimidate me a little." I burst into laughter. "Wait, wait. I intimidate you?" I laugh again. "Well, yeah, kinda. You've got this waif-like, natural beauty and you seem so put together. Jillian has told me a lot about you and she clearly really admires you, Lizzy," she says. "Well I can promise you I am not so put together. I'm actually a mess. Maybe I unconsciously put on some kind of front, but I assure you, just like everyone else, I have no idea what I'm doing. One hundred percent of the time," I laugh and continue, "you're the intimidating one. And I can't believe I'm saying this to your face, but since we're being transparent, here goes. I'm pretty sure you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen in my life." She just looks at me, silent. Immediately embarrassed, I backtrack, "I'm sorry, was that too much? I just thought..." she interrupts me. "No, it wasn't, at all. It was amazing. Nobody has ever said anything like that to me before." She rests her hand on my thigh and it feels like an electric shock sends through me.