My Life with the Rymans

Chapter 12

The next morning I woke up at 8am and couldn't go back to sleep. I was so hungover from all the vodka. I think Bonnie and I drank almost the entire bottle. Bonnie was awake, lying next to me.

"Oh Lizzy, if I stand up I know I will barf everywhere. What do I do?" I groaned. "I don't know. What the fuck were we thinking?" I laughed. "Never drinking again. Seriously. I can't believe we did that and had that much sex after. Wow. By the way, alcohol makes you a horny little slut." We both laughed. "Stop, I can't laugh. It hurts," I said. "I'm not complaining, you rocked my world, especially for someone who was a virgin 8 days ago." She grabbed my hand and squeezed. My life has taken an extremely drastic turn in 1 week. I turn to Bonnie, "so, what do we do now?" She propped up on her elbow. "We date. Do whatever we want. We say "fuck it" and be out together. At school, home, wherever. All in." That scares the shit out of me. "B, I've never even had a boyfriend before, let alone a girlfriend. I don't know how to do this. How do I tell my parents? I don't think they'll care. But it's still scary." She rubbed my arm. "I've been there. Luckily, Steph is the coolest, most supportive mom ever. I can tell yours with you if you want." I sighed. "Ugh, no, I need to do it on my own. And I will. Today. I want to get it over with." Bonnie responds, "well, in the meantime let's tell someone who will be happy for us."

After eating a greasy breakfast from McDonald's and drinking our weight in coke and Gatorade, we asked Steph to come sit in the living room with us.

"What's this about, you two?" Bonnie and I looked at each other. "Well, it's about just that, 'us two'. Liz and I are in a relationship. As of yesterday." Steph looks at both of us and says, "I have to be honest, I kind of thought you already were! But, I love it and I'm so happy for you both. I love you, both." Bonnie laughed and hugged her mom. I felt a twinge of jealousy. Their relationship is what I wish I had with my mother. Steph isn't even Bonnie's bio mother and loves her unconditionally. Steph hugs me and says, "you know you're a part of our family forever, little girl." I squeezed her tight.

I knew I had to go home soon and face the music of my own mother. Bonnie and I retreated upstairs and I changed back into the clothes I wore here yesterday. The clothes I wore on my date with Devin. "B, can I borrow another shirt? This one smells," I lied. I just don't want to be reminded of Devin right now. She handed me a black v-neck T shirt and I put it on. "Alright, B, I'm going. I'll see you at school tomorrow. I love you." She ran to hug me. "I love you. Tomorrow might be weird, and I don't want to hide our relationship but if you aren't ready, we can wait." I shook my head, "no. I don't care what those losers at school think, and that includes our friends," I laughed. We kissed one last time and I went downstairs and got in my car. I cried, not wanting to leave and face reality.

I opened the door and my mom was sitting on the couch. My dad must have gone back to Atlanta. I went and sat on the couch with her. "Hey, mom. When did dad leave?" She turned and said, "this morning. He had to start making arrangements for your grandmother's funeral. The service is Wednesday at 1pm, by the way. I wasn't sure if he told you, you've basically moved in with the Rymans. I can't say I blame you, though." I started to get very nervous all of the sudden. "So, speaking of the Rymans, there's something I need to tell you. So I'm not dating Devin. That was a mistake. I recently realized I actually have feelings for Bonnie." My mom furrowed her brows. "I'm confused. You just said last weekend that you were dating Devin. And now, you're a lesbian?" I knew this was a mistake. "I'm not a lesbian. I still like guys. I've been in love with Bonnie for quite a while. It just took until yesterday for me to fully realize that. I was in denial with Devin." She says, "so, this is a relationship? What are you going to do when you go to separate colleges?" Annoyed, I say, "I don't know, mom. We haven't thought that far ahead. This just happened yesterday. Can you just be happy for me?" She looked with concern and said, "Lizzy, I'm happy that you're happy. I don't have a problem with you dating Bonnie. But I'm not sure I'm comfortable with you staying the night at her house anymore." Wow. "You can't be serious. She's not only my girlfriend, she's my best friend, of 14 years, might I add. Steph doesn't mind. It's not like I can get pregnant." Oops. "Whoa, hold on. Is that your way of telling me you're having sex with her? Jesus Christ, Lizzy. I'm not comfortable with that. I really wish I didn't know." She put her hands on her head. I sighed. "Well, mom, you know now. Is this because I'm dating a girl? I'm sorry if you feel like I'm too young, but I'm 18 and I haven't had sex until recently. There are tons of girls I know that have been having sex since freshman year. This is what happens when you love someone." She rolled her eyes, "yes, Lizzy, I'm aware of that. And I don't care what other girls are doing, I'm still not comfortable with it and it has nothing to do with Bonnie. I'd feel the same if it was a boy." I'm getting impatient. "Like I said, I can't get pregnant. Also, I'm 18 and I'm going to stay at Bonnie's if I feel like it. At least you'll know where I am, and that I'm safe. It could be a lot worse mom, I could be drinking, partying, and sleeping around. I'm responsible. Please, just trust me." I stand up and walk towards the kitchen. I need water. She stands and walks over to me. "Lizzy, do whatever you want. But if any of this, and I mean any of it, starts affecting your schoolwork or hurts your college chances, you will have no longer have a choice. Have you told dad about any of this?" I'm relieved she's not pushing back on the staying over. That's ridiculous. "No, I haven't, and frankly I don't care to have another conversation like this one, so you're welcome to tell him if you speak to him before I do." I start to go upstairs but she stops me by placing her hand on my back. "Lizzy, I am proud of you. For loving who you love and being yourself." I smile for the first time since I started talking to her, "thank you, mom. That means a lot."

I've done nothing but homework and study for the past 3 hours and I'm dying to hear Bonnie's voice so I call her.

"Hey, B."

"Ugh, Lizzy, I miss you. Already."

"Me too. I can barely concentrate on anything else."

"How did it go? With Cathy?"

"Oh it went. Honestly, it wasn't that bad. She has no problem with me dating you. She's 'uncomfortable' with me spending the night with you, but I told her if Steph doesn't have a problem with it, then she can't tell me what to do.  That's not going to happen."

"Wow, Lizzy. I'm impressed and happy you told her that because Steph doesn't mind and I have to have you here all to myself sometimes."

"I gotta say, B, I'm nervous about school tomorrow. I don't usually care what people think of me but this is huge."

"I get it. But think of it this way, we're only in this fucking place two and a half more months and we're gone. So who gives a fuck. And I promise you, people are too obsessed with their own lives to really care that much about ours."

"You're right. I'm excited to see you. I know you'll make me feel better."

"I love you, Liz. I'll see you in the parking lot at 7:30."