My Life with the Rymans

Chapter 10

When I got home my dad's car was still in the same spot as it was yesterday. I debated turning around and going right back to Bonnie's. When I got inside my mom was making lunch. She turned to me, "you hungry, Lizzy?" I furrowed my brow, "no, thanks. Where's dad?" She poured some coffee. "He's still asleep." I gasped. "He stayed here last night?" My mom laughed. "Oh relax. He slept in the guest bedroom. He was very upset after you left and I felt he was in no state to drive back to Atlanta so I suggested he stay. He's obviously exhausted. His mother just died." I was shocked. "Well that's very kind of you, mom. Really. Especially after what he's done to you." I sat down on the barstool and said, "I'm not angry at him about any of that anymore. It's not even the main reason why we're getting divorced." I couldn't think straight. "Well then what on earth could be worse than infidelity to make you want to get divorced?" She shrugged. "We've just grown apart, darling. We've been together since we were 19, got pregnant with you soon after, and got married. It all happened so fast. We never got the chance to grow up without each other. We never had identities outside of each other. Now that you're an adult and moving on with your own life, we both feel like we can actually figure out what we want outside of our marriage. Whether that be new relationships, new friendships, new hobbies, new places, whatever. That's part of why your dad cheated, he said he felt trapped. It's not an excuse, but I don't want to be with someone who feels trapped with me. That makes me feel worse than anything. We've both made some mistakes. But having you was the best thing we ever did." I was absolutely stunned. Speechless and stunned. I took some time to replay what she said. She's never opened up like that to me before. "Well. I can honestly say, I hope you find what you're looking for, mom. You deserve happiness, whatever it is that means to you." She smiled. "Thank you, Lizzy. I hope the same for you."

Shortly after that, my dad came to my room and knocked. I let him in. "Dad, I'm so sorry about what I said to you yesterday. That wasn't fair." He touched my hair. "It's alright, Lizzy. I don't blame you for any of it. I love you and I just want you to be happy. That's all. Are you? Are you happy?" I tilted my head. "You mean right now?" He laughed. "I guess I just mean in your life right now, in general. I worry you're not." I thought about this for a minute. "I think I could be. I think I know what would make me happy." He sighed. "That's all that matters to me, Liz." I noticed he made a point not to call me Scooter. So I said, "dad, you can call me Scooter if you want to." He teared up. "Thanks, Scooter."

My grandmother's funeral is scheduled for Wednesday. I'd rather go to school. My life is such a mess and I don't know how to fix it. My date with Devin is in 2 hours and I'm not sure I can handle it right now. I just had sex with my best friend of 14 years. But I decide it will be a nice distraction and get ready anyway.

Devin shows up right on time and takes me to a really nice Italian restaurant a town over. He said he's never been but he's heard Steph talk about it as a good date spot. It was really sweet. We order dinner. I got lobster ravioli and he ordered lasagna. "So how is soccer practice going so far?" I ask trying to get the conversation going. He perks up. "I think it's going pretty well. Coach Stafford is really tough on me but it inspires me to work harder. I guess that's kind of the point." We both laugh. "Yeah, I believe that's the very definition of coaching," I say and giggle some more. He's so cute and sweet. But here I am, on a date with this amazing guy who actually, genuinely likes me and I can't stop thinking about Bonnie. In the car on the way here, one of her favorite songs played, "Is This Love" by Whitesnake. She would die than rather admit it to anyone but she's secretly into eighties hair bands. I love that about her. That song is one we've screamed at the top of our lungs since we were 10 years old. I wanted to say something about it to Devin when it played but I know he doesn't like talking about her so much so I kept quiet. And then I realized something. Like a light bulb turned on in my brain. I should be able to talk about her. I shouldn't be afraid of hurting someone's feelings by talking about my best friend. I have been on this date with Devin for 1 whole hour so far and all I've wanted to do this whole time is talk about her. I had to force myself to ask him about soccer just so I wouldn't bring her up.

Our food came to the table. I got up right away and excused myself to the bathroom. I gripped the sink and stared into the mirror being pummeled by the realization of what was happening to me. I stood there for at least ten minutes before walking back to our table where Devin was seated. He'd already started eating. I sat down. "Are you good, Lizzy? Your food is probably cold." I looked up at him. "No. Actually. I think I'm getting sick. I think I need to go home. Now. Please." He stood up immediately and found our waitress. She brought the check and we left. As we pulled into my driveway Devin asked, "you haven't said anything since the restaurant, do you want me to come in and sit with you to make sure you're okay?" I shook my head. "No, no. I'll be fine soon. I just need to sleep it off." He asked, "you're sure? Because if you're sure then I'm gonna drop by Patrick's since he's having another party." My heart sank into my stomach. He was seriously going to Patrick's house like nothing happened last weekend? I felt like he punched me in the gut. I said, "go nuts, Devin. Have a blast with Patrick." I practically jumped out of the car.

As soon as he pulled away I got in my car and sped to Bonnie's. She was home. Steph let me in. "I'm just heading out to meet my sister, tell Bonnie I'll be home late. You girls have fun." I waved and sprinted up the stairs. Bonnie's door was open and she was sitting on the floor with her textbooks out studying. She looked up at me and jumped. "Liz, what are you doing here? You look crazy. I thought you were out with Devin." I sat down beside her. "I was. We were at dinner, it was fine. I told him I was sick so he took me home." I was breathing heavily. She looked confused. "Okay? So what are you doing here, then if you're sick?" She's not getting it. "He picked me up, we were in the car, we sat down to dinner, we talked, and I missed ALL OF IT, Bonnie. Because I couldn't stop thinking about you. I didn't care about any of it because everything brought me back to you. I was right, Devin was a distraction. A distraction from you. From my love for you. That I've been in love with you, for years, I think. I just didn't know what it was, Bonnie. But now I do. It hit me like a brick. I'm in love with you, too. I want to do this, for real. It's always been you, B." She sat there quiet, her face pinched with concentration like she was doing a math equation. Finally, she threw her books out the way and grabbed my hands. "Are you sure, Liz? Because if there's any doubt, I won't be able to handle it. I won't be able to let you go." I squeezed her hands and tears started streaming down my face. "Oh I'm sure. I've never been more sure. You're the only person who makes me happy. Now please, take me to bed."

We stood up and it's like our clothes just fell off on their own. We stood there naked, just staring at each other. It was the first time I'd actually looked at all of her right in front of me and I could not get over how perfect she was. I don't know if I'm straight or gay, I just know I love her.

We fit like a glove. Still standing, our mouths collided and our bodies soon followed. She shoved me against the wall and picked me up by my legs and curled them around her body. She devoured my tits and neck. I could feel her clit touching mine and I needed more. I shoved her onto the bed and positioned us so we fit together perfectly and I fucked her until I couldn't move. My body knew what to do. It was raw and so intense I thought I would pass out. She made noises I'd never heard before. We were feral for one another. After coming, I needed more so I ate her from behind for what seemed like hours until my mouth got tired. Her ass was soft and beautiful. She returned the favor and I thought if I died right now I think I'd be okay with it. I collapsed on top of her and felt like I'd just run a 10K. We lay for a few minutes trying so hard to catch our breaths. She was the first to speak, "Lizzy, I've never and I mean never had sex like that before. Ever. It was incredible and I never want it to end. I was made for you. I swear it. Your pussy is mine." I snorted. "You can have it anytime you want it. I love you, Bonnie, and I need you. For the rest of my life." She climbed on top of me and kissed me so passionately I teared up again. I couldn't believe this was real. I was waiting to wake up from a dream. We were making out and before I knew it we were at it again. It was just so easy, natural, and fucking fun. I've never been this happy. I found it. I found my happiness. It's her.