Abigail

Chapter 8 - Caught

ABIGAIL

"girls you're up"

as Tommy said showing us the que that we supposed to get on the stage. Harmony, Cindy, Kendall and I are huddling up and prayed before we go on the stage. i'm not ready at all. this whole Zayn thing made me lose my focus. he really do drives me crazy. i should sing Britney Spears' song, should i?

we walked out from backstage to the front and waving on everyone. it's like our own concert. there are banners for us aswell. i love my fans.

"Hi Birmingham! we're Diversity, and we're opening the boys' show for you! enjoy." Harmony said, the scream got so loud and we're so pumped. but i think the girls can tell that i'm not that interested and i'm out of my league. i'm stressed because i'm thinking too much about Zayn. they glanced at me for a second and then looked back at the crowd who's waiting for us to sing.

the 2 first songs went well. but i kept thinking about Zayn. why did he have to do this?! now it's time for us to sing If I Were A Boy. and then it's time for my solo.

"If I Were A Boy..."

i suddenly forgot the lyrics and just put the microphone down and shaked my head. i turned my head to the girls who's looking at me, and then i cried, running backstage.

i don't care about anyone else right now, how can i take care of others when i don't even know how to take care of myself. i was such a mess. i screwed everything. the performance, everything. i never did this and i knew that the girls would be pissed at me for gods sake. i sat down on the couch backstage and just put my hands on my face, taking off my heels and folded my legs to my chest.

"Abs why did you do that?"

Liam asked walking towards me, pointing to where the stage was. i take a slight look at him, and then closed my face again with my hands.

"i can't think, Sorry."

Liam sighed and called Louis and Zayn to talk to me. i could hear them whispering but i knew that in my heart, Zayn won't come to me. and guess what? i'm absolutely right. it's only Louis who came up to me and hugged me.

"it's okay, Abs. it's okay." Louis said rubbing my head to calm me down. my hair and everything was so messed up but i don't even wanna care.

"i screwed up, Lou." i said crying even harder. Louis sighed deeply and start telling me things.

"i know it's not easy for you. but you gotta be professional. it's your job. time to forget those personal things for a while. keep them aside, and try to cheer up in front of the crowd. you don't want them to know your problems right?" Louis said telling me, i nodded.

"but what should i do? it's too late."

"go back out there, and said that you forgot something."

said Louis who's kissing my forehead. i went to the makeup table and cleared my tears.i had like 2 minutes before the song is finished. i will finish the last song. Louis is right. i hope the puffy eyes will go away.

i saw Zayn is there, just laughing at his phone preparing for the show. but i can't even look at him. he glanced at me, and then looked away. i didn't want to care. at least i'm trying to be professional just like Lou said.

After the Show ---

we got back to the hotel, and i just simply throw my things on the couch, and throw myself on the bed. Cindy did aswell. they didn't ask me about the breakdown that happened to me backstage. i think they knew that i was going through. especially Harmony, the one i told everything to.