The blue-eyed raven (Rivamika fanfiction)

CHAPTER 21

I thought my little heart was about to explode.

Glancing at my reflection in the mirror, I heavily sighed. I was not prepared, well, not mentally. My knees were weak, hands sweaty and my mind was not thinking straight. Needless to say, I was screwed.

It was the day, no, more like the night I wanted to mean something to me - the New Year's Eve. And my eighteen birthday.

Days after Christmas came along so fast, I couldn't even think straight. And all I did was to stare at the white nature from my window, eat, listen to music or talk to Eren, hang with Armin and some members of the group – but I got shivers, when the night came scrolling by, and it wasn't the cold weather's fault.

Most of the sunsets I spent talking and texting with Levi. It felt amazing, hearing his low, cold voice through the phone or just reading his mind blowing words. Each of those made me smile, laugh or just think about life. But what mattered to me the most was that I came closer to know Levi personally. Don't get me wrong, I liked the guy in every way, but I wanted more – I wanted him to open to me.

But that wasn't as easy as I thought. Levi was nice to me and all, yet he was still mysterious and kept his distance. Even if we wanted to talk for hours, I couldn't but to notice his rejection and cold answers as quickly as I wanted to ask something deeply personal. Like he wasn't sure if to speak of it, so he constantly changed the subject. I couldn't blame him though, he was smart and open-minded person, but deep down in his eyes, as how they looked at first, all cold and arrogant, I couldn't but to think he was hiding something. The part of him that made him act so strong and careless, because everyone knows, people, who stand out by positive or negative nature, can be really different from inside.

Hurt, feeling endless pain or rejection, not willing to ask for help.

Sighing, I rather pushed the 'Levi thoughts' away and focused on my look, which was a big deal for me this night, believe me.

I wasn't the tom boy girl but I never really consider being a girly girl either. I was soft and cute at the moments, but I rather lived wild and free, acting like no one can hurt me easily. So wearing an amazing maxi dress with a lot of make-up and elegant haircut wasn't my way at all. But this night – I wanted to try and be daring.

I went for a dark, mysterious look, plus I had enough time, since the party begins late and I could just gaze at my reflection, preparing myself. With this perfect opportunity, I took the chance and looked through my closet patiently and ended up with a birthday gift, Carla gave me earlier that day, since she can't be with Eren and me for the night.

It was a beautiful black maxi dress, with a big V cut on the back, and a trail of laces on both of the sides and on the middle of the V cut. It was without sleeves, but it had two beautiful straps, traced from the sides to the back of my neck, keeping the dress from not falling off. I absolutely loved it, I couldn't but to stop looking myself at the mirror, thinking if it suits me.

Will he like it?

The thought cross my mind but never stayed there, since I was too busy checking for a pair of midnight-blue chunky high heels, which I eventually found hiding under my bed.

The dress and the shoes went perfectly together, which I later of paired with the bracelet Levi had given me for Christmas, but that wasn't the main problem.

Groaning in sleepiness, I held my hands to my face, observing the enormous amount of make-up and the crazy haircut, Sasha had made earlier. Not complaining, the girl was an expert, but I was never a fan of too much everything. She made my skin flawless by standing out my cheekbones with the bronzer and hiding the bags under my eyes with a highlighter, which also made my face a little brighter. My eyebrows used to be sharp and full, so she wasted no time on them, just darkening and forming them into a soft shape. As for my eyes – I never gave a proper time to do something with these blue windows to the soul, so I never would have guessed how long and powerful my eyelashes really are. So Sasha used only a dark eyeliner and mascara, making my blue eyes stand out even more. And that's where all ended, since my lips were only dry, so all she did was to blast a dark lipstick over my thin lips to make them 'pop'.