The blue-eyed raven (Rivamika fanfiction)

CHAPTER 25

We didn't say anything; we just continued staring at each other.

Jean was practically pinned to the ground at the entrance to the living room, a few feet away from the sofa. His face was pale as snow, eyes widened and brightly burning. He had his hands down his sides, palms clenched to fists.

I've never seen him looking like this – the feeling his eyes left over us made random shivers burst through me. His lips were a little separated, like he was choking on the last words as his expression was clouded in mixes of pure sadness, hate and surprise, as Levi and I just gazed at him, hands around each other.

Awkward.

Levi was still leaning over me, his fingers iron under my neck and basically crawling to my sides. I had my fingers dug into his hair and our faces were separated an inch, both turned over to the lost brown haired boy.

I felt Levi anxiously tensing his grip over me, as he dropped a glare towards Jean. I could see in the corner of my eye how his lips radiated red and eyes turned from bloody red and blue to cold-ice grey metal. There were still tears planted over his face, but were not as clear in the darkness as my waterfalls of sorrows. I bit my lower lip and swallow the salty taste, mixed with black tea down my throat before speaking.

''Jean,'' my voice was quiet and warning towards my friend whose eyes only travelled from Levi to me and back. I caught him jump a little by the call, as he just dug his nails into the skin of his cold palm even harder.

I knew he was breaking out inside. Like, who wouldn't if he just saw his crush kissing a guy he truly hates.

I was so freaking screwed – I was kind of a happy, it wasn't Eren himself, but I knew, it would only be a matter of time till he finds out.

God dammit!

I slowly straightened up and Levi had to sense it, since he abruptly jumped up, fixing his coat and shooting Jean another glare before turning around. I was now sitting, wiping the tears away to get a better look at Jean. My lips were swollen and my hair messed as I slowly got up, reaching for my friend.

I now officially looked fucked up as Levi.

''Jean,'' I called for him one last time, still no reply from his side. I moved closer to him, hoping to stop him from going anywhere. Hopelessly breathing, I was about to squeeze his hand and intertwine our fingers but just before doing so, he backed away.

''Jean, please, I...'' taking another step, my eyes again filled with tears, but it was no success. Jean backed away even more, now looking away, clearly biting on his lip roughly from frustration. He raised his hand towards me, giving me a sign to beck away. I almost chocked, seeing him so cracked, seeing everyone so cracked. First Levi, then Jean – hopefully Eren won't be next.

''Just don't,'' he spat, looking up again and I gasped loudly, eyes plain as tears just wouldn't come out.

He had the same look planted on his face as Levi, but his eyes were sparkling brown, like wood chopped to pieces. There were tears on the edges of it, as a trace of blood escaped his lower lip from biting too harsh.

He was barely holding it together.

He likes you, Levi's words echoed in my mind. Maybe I knew that, but I never would have guessed how much.

I just want to say I couldn't bear to watch you get hurt. I couldn't bear if anything, anyone did anything to you, I would crush them like a bug. I care too much for you and as a friend; I would die if to lose you.

His words stung so painfully as memories crawled them over my brain. I remembered the way his face used to flush at the beginning, the way he always looked caring towards me. I remembered, when I taught him to dance, when we were at the Café and Levi boiled with jealousy, when Jean handed me his coat.