The blue-eyed raven (Rivamika fanfiction)

CHAPTER 35

I was practically storming in a lake of wrestlers.

As I walked around, just following people, all I could see, were serious or grinning teenagers. I was surrounded by tense students, weird-looking guys, pale faces and death glares. Some just took this competition way too seriously than I thought. I, on the other half, was here to help my team, despite my condition. But in number of days after such tragedy, I am way better and totally capable of wrestling.

Well so I thought.

Just watching other wrestlers made me tense, but the icy façade never left my face. Even, if everyone looked like, they were just about to step on the battlefield, I remained emotionless-looking. Because, let's be real, I'm still Mikasa Ackerman.

And I can do this – even if I'm embraced with my fellow teammates and constantly watched by Levi.

After our little 'conversation' he got quickly a hold of my pace, so when I was rushing up the stairs like a squeezed penguin, I could practically feel him behind me. Only when a 'tch' sound slid from his mouth, I was hundred percent, his breath was hitting my neck, and I just wanted to turn and hug him, turn and talk to him, say something, so I would get that ocean-blue look from his eyes. He was right behind me and it made my fingers twitch for his hand anxiously.

But I never did such thing. My legs moved like machines, switched to automatic, and I was quickening my tempo with every chance I got. I dodged some students, and passed some people while almost hitting them, all to create a gap between the two of us. If no one will speak nor say anything, it was really ridiculous and awkward just to be around each other, despite how desperate I was. He would only stare and it would be only a matter of time, till my façade would fall apart and I would break. So I needed to stay cold till the competition is over, so my feelings are shielded in me, while I fight. Right now, all I needed was to concentrate and not break my anger on my opponents.

But as much as I tried to make my plan work, I was failing miserably. Being good at sliding pass people while walking faster and faster was maybe my thing, but it was also Levi's. He was one step behind constantly; while we jogged the long and large corridor and even till we reached the closed stadium. It was really hard not to simply ask him, what he wants, but that would just mean I couldn't handle the situation. Even if something was still pulling us towards each other, I couldn't risk it and break our hearts by leaving him. Seeing him hurt because of me would be like the accident all over again, but this time – I wouldn't wake up.

Trying to act emotionless, I quickened my pace into the stadium, which blue painted, walls built up high and covered with posters. There were long-ass stands, embracing the wrestling field, now covered with six large mats and extra mats around them. All teams were shown to wait at the right when entering, where judges had their wooden tables prepared. People were already sitting and waiting for the competition to start, even if we first had to split into weight classes. I wondered if Eren and Jean were one of those people, or maybe they were too bored and rather waited outside. But let's be real – those two can hardly be around one another for a long time.

As I slowly moved around, looking for my team, I noticed that there were far more wrestlers then before, but even though, the number wasn't that shocking. There were a lot of boys, all prepared and already classified into different weight-classes, while the judges went through every female wrestler, looking at their files. The amount of girls was dramatically lower than the amount of boys and I was quite glad. It just meant I'll be done quicker than I anticipated.

But before checking myself in, I firstly found my team, while still followed by Levi. But as we got to our teammates, he moved pass me like a shadow to reunite with the boy's elite, leaving me alone and surprised. Guessing, I'm not the only one avoiding the inevitable conversation we both desire to have. So I bet this night will be interesting as hell or one of the worst ones, if one of us ends up being a chicken and we actually never speak again – no hug, no confessions, no kisses, nothing - just a shadowy mark, scared across my heart.