A Different Beginning

A Different Beginning ~ Part 112 ~ Facing the Pain

Point of View: Sang 

I have already talked with North and Victor now about what is happening and honestly I know I have a lot more to think about. My eyes wonder around the breakfast table where everyone now sits. Glancing from one member to the other, I look at the array of worried faces at the table as Mr. Blackbourne and Dr. Green explain what occurred last night and this morning with regards to my reaction to a television show. 

Sitting in Gabriel's lap, I know better than to move or interrupt but I am more than frustrated with my family. Each has his own take on how they think I should have handled the situation and not a single one seems to want me to speak my own mind. I keep silent understanding why each of them is reacting a different way and trying to understand his point of view. 

Doctor Green has taken a more scientific approach along with Kota who is reciting different necessities in order to help a person come out of a panic attack. Nathan and Gabriel aren't really understanding why I didn't call out for help. Mr. Blackbourne is thinking of a more methodical reason of how to recover from an attack but I can tell deep down he believes trust is an issue. All the while Silas and Luke pop in and out of conversations agreeing with most and disagreeing with others. But to my surprise it is both North and Victor who are silent in the great breakfast fiasco. 

Victor's eyes are trained on mine but it is North's eyes that have a stronger pull to them. Those chocolate brown eyes are trained on me and I know he is thinking about our chat. Those eyes seem to be looking into my sole for I can see his shoulders tensing more with frustration. I watch as he swiftly stands from his chair and move around the table. His action seems to have caught the other's attention for they all are silent for a moment. 

Turning, I watch as North kneels down and meets my eyes. "How are you feeling?" He whispers quietly enough for only Gabriel and I to hear. Surprised, I am about to reply when Gabriel tenses his arms around me. 

"She probably feels fucking upset and uncomfortable, North." Gabriel responds cutting me off instantly. "Fucking hell she just went through something very fucking traumatic and couldn't get help." His tone has a bitterness to it as he tells North off and I can see the anger in North's eyes clearly. 

Biting my lip hard, I hold back tears of frustration and I pull hard against Gabriel's arms, breaking through and move to North whose arms instantly wrap around me and pull me into his embrace. The warmth of his arms is ever so comforting and pulls me back allowing me a moment to calm down. 

"You are all fucking idiots." North mutters under his breath and stands holding me to his chest once more. 

"Mr. Taylor-" Mr. Blackbourne begins but North easily talks over the male. 

"Not once did you ask what Sang fucking wanted." I can hear the bite from his voice and I can't help but turn to look at the others. "Not once did you ask how she was feeling!" He yells a little louder meeting their eyes. I notice Victor is now standing besides North as well and offers me a hand to escape. 

Taking it, I slip from North's arms giving him a soft kiss on the cheek before climbing out of his arms and moving easily to Victor. The large black sweatshirt drapes over my thin body and I look to the others. "He is right you know." I whisper softly looking to Mr. Blackbourne who looked as though he was about to scold North for talking back. "No one asked what I would like to do..." I let the sentence hover in the air as I move to Victor giving him a hug as well. 

His arms slip carefully over my sides and pulls me against his chest. Relaxing slowly I rest the back of my head on his chest and look to my family sitting around the table. "What would you like us to do?" Nathan asks breaking the awful silence hanging in the air. 

"Just be there." I state simply looking from one to the other. "I don't need a method or a medical theory to pull myself out of the situation. What happens is going to happen and I just need to work my way through the process." I state clearly meeting their emotional eyes. Looking to Nathan and then to Gabriel I take a slow breath and smile. "I wasn't able to call out. I was too scared. I would have called if I could've." I watch as Nathan's eyes grow large with pain and Gabriel swears under his breath but both nod understanding. 

"Aggele mou..." Turning I meet Silas's soulful eyes and smile softly to him. "Are you going to be okay?" He states easily and I can feel tears build up in my chest as I try to fight them off. 

"Y-Yes..." I whisper my voice choking on a sob. "But only if I have my family..." I whisper before the tears spill over and I hide into Victor's chest trying to calm down. 

Unable to contain my emotions any longer, I let out soft sobs as I curl into Victor's chest trying to calm down. But to my surprise, a large amount of warmth washes over me causing me to glance up. There stands the boys surrounding me. Each of them holds their emotions on their faces and I quickly hug each of them. 

By the time I am hugging Victor once more he is guiding me up the stairs and to his bedroom. I can feel the exhaustion and lack of decent sleep kicking in with every step I take and by the time I make it to his doorway Victor is carrying me in his arms. Tucking me into the cozy warmth of his bed, I curl up into a small ball of warmth and look to him. His eyes are soft and trained on my own as he carefully rubs my injured back. 

"I love you Sang." He whispers softly before placing a very gentle kiss on my tear stained cheeks. "Our family loves you as well." I smile and nod understanding. 

"I know..." I whisper. "I love you all as well..." And with that I am drifting off into the land of sleep. 

When I awake next, I hear the soft pattering of rain hitting the glass windows across from the bed. This comforting noise along with the sound of soft humming almost puts me to sleep once more but the second I turn to meet the soft watery eyes of Gabriel I can't help but feel wide awake. 

Turning away from the window I move closer to Gabriel who is sitting at the edge of the bed. Knee walking my way over, I slowly run my fingers up his back letting him know I am there before rubbing his shoulders and placing a very soft kiss on his neck. "Meanie..." I whisper softly into his ear and can't help but see the smile appear on his lips. 

"Oh Trouble..." He whispers quietly in return, his humming now lost to the sound of the rain as he easily pulls me onto his lap. "What am I going to fucking do with you?" He asks teasingly and I can't help but smile. 

"Well North already said I can't go to the bathroom alone so I am not really sure what else I can offer besides lots of kisses." I state teasingly to Gabriel whose eyes darken a little with lust. 

"I will definitely be filling that order for kisses." He whispers before placing a soft sweet kiss on my lips. "But honestly you have me really worried." Gabriel's voice is soft as he gets serious and I pat the bed ushering him to climb up with me and cuddle. 

A couple of seconds later, my head is resting on his chest and the covers are wrapped around us keeping us warm and cozy. "I don't mean to worry you Meanie." I whisper softly, my fingers playing with the edge of his shirt. "I really don't mean to worry you. I just... its overwhelming. I have never had this happen to me... I am healing and I don't want to cause anyone any pain... but you all don't understand my pain." I state unsure if I really had made any sense but I can feel Gabriel's fingers playing with my hair pause for only a second before continuing. 

"Trouble..." Gabriel states softly. "When my mother and brother died I honestly thought that nothing worse could happen to me. All of the happiness that had once filled me had died so suddenly that I didn't even know what to do... and then my father passed... and I sunk farther away to avoid the pain." I can hear his voice hitch with pain as he speaks but I make sure to stay silent wanting him to finish his thought. "I know how hard it is the face the pain of the actions taken by others but I promise you Sang... I am not going to let you go through this alone as I did."