LOve GAzes (Sesul)

If you're not next to me

Krystal left the hospital without meeting Sulli. Her heart was so blank since she heard Sehun's second proposal. She felt really jealous to Sulli who captures Sehun's whole heart.

She wants his love either but why can't she get his love....?
She can love him like Sulli loves him but why doesn't he see her love ....?
Sehun can share Sulli's pains, but why does he ignore her pains ....?

Love Gazes ... that was bonded between they two are really hard to break ...? Although she tried many ways just to break up, they can't easily separate from each other ...

Although there were many confusions in her heart, she realized one well and exactly. That is she can't break their love knot .... so called .... Love Gazes....

" Suddenly why?", asked Sulli after a long silence had interrupted their marriage conversion.

" Sulli .. I thought you were totally out of Krystal's life... But I was wrong... She still controls your heart.. That's what I don't want the most .. I don't want others to influence your heart .. not even by me.. Sulli.. You're a human.. You can survive on your own.. But you look like a doll who waits for the command of the owner to breathe... The image of Krystal still covered upon you.. So I want to take you away from it.. I want to change your life slowly... I want you to survive under my warm love.. And marriage is the best solution for you to be free from this nightmare..", Sehun ended his warm gazes towards the girl.

Sulli got puzzled heart after hearing his meaningful words.
Yes... She was still under Krystal's influence... But .. she didn't know that she was ready to marry someone or not. Although Sehun words were right, she couldn't choose the exact decision.

She still worried what would happen to Krystal if they would marry for real. She realized well that Krystal would be so broken to see them as a married couple.

She could admit herself that she was still afraid to marry him for many reason behind their love. She was afraid for seeing Krystal's broken figure over their marriage...
She was afraid for that she may recopy her mother's love life...
She was afraid for that Sehun would leave her one day...

Of course.. She believe Sehun, absolutely... But .. no one can see the future , right..? In the future, Sehun may leave her.. This was her greatest fear right then...

" ... Give me some time to think..", said Sulli as a whispher, but Sehun was able to hear it.

" ..Well.. I can give you many time to think.. .. But I'm afraid that your decision .. will choose to.. leave me.. It can kill me, Sulli.. As your love is the greatest energy for me to survive, your hate is the greatest weapon to kill me.. No matter what.. please remember it.. I love you and my love'll be forever for you .. only for you.. Please try to believe me , my faith and .. my love..", said Sehun and kissed her knuckle deeply. Sulli heaved a sigh and just looked outside the window to hide her coming tears from Sehun.

What's wrong with her...?
She already believed him and promised to give her life to him...
But now... her heart closed again for Oh Sehun...

Sehun went back home to clean himself since Sulli asked him to do. When he came back to the hospital, he found the patient suit was neatly folded on the empty bed. He got panic and started to look for her around the hospital. But Sulli was nowhere to be found.

While he was heading to the garden of the hospital, he felt his phone vibrating, a message arrival. He immediately opened it as soon as he knew it was from Sulli.

" Sehun.. Sorry for my departure without informing you.. Don't worry.. I'm just leaving to think about our marriage.. I'll be back soon... And don't look for me.. I want to be alone while thinking about it... I'm sorry.."

Sehun heaved a sigh as a relief as he knew that his girl was fine. Although he felt upset for her confusion to marry him, he understood well she must take time to think about it. They all know that marriage is not playing. If she marries him, she would give her whole life to him. Of course, every girl has full right to choose deliberately the man whom she will vest her life....

Sulli went back to her mom's house since she has nowhere to go except there. Her family welcomed her warmly like before. She tried to smile in front of her family. But she failed. Even if she smiled, it was her forced smile, fake smile.

While she was standing at the balcony, she felt a cold breeze brushing her bare face. That breeze reminded her of her boy, Oh Sehun. The memory, when Sehun wrapped her cold body with the blanket and within his warm arms, recalled in her blur eyes.

She went inside the room and went to the kitchen. While she was sinking her coffee, the image of Sehun who used to prepare her meals and have their meals togther with her, appeared in her sight again.

She went to her bed and sat on it. She curled her knees until they touched her chin and hugged herself. She could feel her tears started to roll down on her pinky cheeks while her heart was begging Sehun's presence.

She missed his gentle palms which always caressed her cheeks...
She missed his scent which stuck on her pale skin...
She missed his warm embrace which engorged her cold body...
She missed his gentle kiss which laid on her dry lips...

Finally, within 2 days without him, she realized that she can't live without him in her dark life. The real one she needs the most is Sehun... not others... not even Krystal...

On the other hand, Sehun felt empty in his blank apartment. Although he used to stay alone in this apartment for almost 3 years, a few months when she was with him in this apartment, beated over his lonely 3 years. Although he didn't miss his lonely 3 years, he was missing his few months with her. Now, he can't stay alone anymore, without her. The two days when she wasn't with him, were like the hell for him.

The images of his girl playing around, her tears, her smile, her chuckles were still stained in there. Her things still occupied around his apartmant and her scent still stuck on his mattress.

Although people say that his girl is a black sheep, he can't live without his black sheep. Although the black sheep means negative for others, the black sheep for him means that Sulli was the only one among other girls, who are white sheep.

Sehun roamed around his neighbourhood to reduce his hallucination about Sulli. But he failed. Wherever he went, her images still follwed him like his shadow.

When he came back home, he felt surprised and happy at the same time.

" .. Sulli..", his girl finally came back to him, the girl who was sitting on the floor in front of his apartment.

As soon as Sulli heard her name from his murmur, she got up and crashed herself into his chest, the warm embrace she used to miss all the time.

" I'll ... Let's get married.. Within these 2 days, I realized that .. I can't live without you..", a wide smile were drawn on his lips as soon as he heard her words. He gladly welcomed her decision with his warm embrace.

Finally, after they had encountered many pains, their lives were going to be one....

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