Sing to me

Chapter 39

It's been a week since I found out. Luckily, Jade started feeling better. She even agreed to individual sessions with Dr. Finn, which surprised me. She was eating again. She still looked like a stick, but at least she was trying her best. It turned out that Leigh-Anne and I didn't have to drag her out of the house occasionally, since Little Mix were officially done with their hiatus, since Karl, Jade's brother, was released and everything was fine now. Yeah, right.

I thought that it could all be too much for her now, since the wounds are still fresh and wide opened, but she said she wanted to start working as soon as possible, to get her mind off things. I still wasn't convinced, but after having a chat with Dr. Finn about that and him confirming that she's ready, I dropped it.

I could tell how much she enjoys having sessions with Dr. Finn and actually opening up to someone. It just seemed like that someone will never be me. A part of me, okay, a sick part of me, was a bit jealous that she could open up to Finn and not to me. I know I wasn't as professional as he was, but I opened up to her, told her everything about my past, I exposed myself in front of her in all the possible ways and she still couldn't be honest with me. In the beginning, it was kind of fun that she was some kind of a puzzle for me, but now? Plain annoying.

I have tried so many times to make Finn tell me something that she told him, but he kept refusing and telling me how his ethical code isn't allowing him to break her trust. I was even more furious after hearing that. I know this sounds silly, but it seemed like everyone was trying to keep her secrets from me.

When Jade went to South Shields for the weekend to catch up with her family and especially with her brother, I finally had some time to think about everything, but instead – I was doing everything I could to not think about everything.

I didn't tell anyone about what she did, simply because I was still mortified that she'd do something like that. Plus, Finn already knew and that was enough for me. He's the one that has to deal with my sick, twisted mind, not me.

Right now, I was sitting in Dr. Finn's office, staring at the ceiling, as we both waited for Jade to come. It was our first couple therapy thing and ironically – she was late.

I didn't know when did I start being so bitter about everything, but I guess it was my time to grieve right now. Even though I was upset from day 1, I still put aside my feelings and took care of her. Now, that she was fine and that I did my job, it was time for me to focus on me.

I looked at my watch, for the tenth time.

"I'm waiting for 5 more minutes and then I'm leaving." I informed Finn, annoyed and angry.

"Calm down, Harry. She'll come." he said and opened his notebook, just as his secretary opened the door to let us know that Miss Thirlwall arrived. How fucking amazing of her.

"I am so sorry! I got stuck in the traffic, it won't happen again, I promise!" she said, as she rushed in, stopping by only to shake hands with Finn and then she approached me and sat on the couch, next to me.

Ofcourse, she looked absolutely stunning. Her cheeks were blushing from all the running around, her eyes were sparkling and her gorgeous, thick hair looked perfect. There wasn't even a slightest trace of that ruined, devastated girl I saw when I came to Leigh-Anne's apartment. The girl that was still hunting me at night.

"Hey." she said to me, avoiding the kissing part, probably because we were sitting in front of Finn. But the way she looked at me was even more intimate than a kiss.

Instinctively, I took her hand, entwining my fingers with hers.

In all that anger, for a second, I forgot how much I actually loved her.