Sing to me

Chapter 44

As I predicted earlier, my birthday party did end up to be a complete mess. I ended up being a complete mess. What Harry said to me wasn't anything new to me in particular, but the way he put it into words and the fact that he was the one to say that we just aren't meant to be together, out loud, completely broke me.

A part of me was still hoping, still longing for us to be together again. I loved him more than any guy in my life and I wanted to be with him forever, no matter how funny that sounded.

I even felt pathetic that the only reason he came to see me on my birthday was to confirm it was his pyschotic mother that was following me, earlier that day. He even told me he still loves me, loves me so much that it physically hurts him, but somehow I didn't believe him.

If he loved me as much as he claims that he does, he would be suffering as much as I am now, he would want us to be together again, he wouldn't be able to spend another second of the day without me.

I was such a fool to even think that there was a slightest chance of us being together again.

I didn't even bother to go back to my own party, I just sneaked out through the back exit with Perrie, heading straight to my flat, to get rid of my beautiful dress and my ruined make-up. Jesy and Leigh stayed to take care of everything, including guests.

Perrie didn't leave me for one second alone and later she was joined by Jesy and Leigh and all three of them spent the night with me. For the first time ever, I didn't want to be alone, I didn't want them to leave. I was convinced that if I stay alone for one second, I will fall apart. In front of them, I at least have to pretend that I'm in control of my own body and mind.

God knows how did I manage to go through the whole night. It felt like somebody set my body on fire.

In one night, I went from sorrow to anger, from anger to denial. I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that we are over, for real.

The hole in my chest was probably celebrating now. It got what it wanted. More pain, more tears, more sorrow.

I was sick of this pain, sick of these negative feelins inside of me, but I couldn't help it, you can't choose how to feel. Pain demands to be felt. Pain erases everything that you used to be and replaces you with this new, cold person. Pain forces you to bury the person you used to be, deep down.

Harry's POV

"What a lovely surprise! Who do I have to thank because my son finally called me?"

The second she referred to me as her son, I felt disgust and hatred.

"Your stalking habits. Who gave you the right to go around and follow Jade?! And before you start denying – don't even bother! I know that it was you!" I shouted into the phone, my fingers clenching around it.

I already broke my screen, by throwing my phone at a wall when Jade didn't answer my calls. There won't be much left of it, if I throw it again.

"Harry, I wasn't following her, Jesus! I happened to be at the same place, in the same time, that's all. You need to stop following her and everything she does, you broke up, remember?"

I exhaled loudly, with annoyance. Now she's going to lecture me on following my ex-girlfriend? Seriously?

"I remember, but do you? You have no reason to follow her around and I want you to stop. She's no longer involved with me, in any way and I'd like to keep it that way. She's gonna ask for a restraining order, so before you blink – you'll end up in jail, the one you have successfully avoided for so long." I said, angrily.