Sing to me

Chapter 30

Karl's trial has been set in 5 days. How do they seriously think that I will be able to wait for so long? I was already facing enormous anxiety, I couldn't cope with myself for 5 more days. 

It has been 3 days since I came to Harry's place, since I saw my brother for the last time. I still remembered the panic in his eyes, the fear in his voice, as he desperately begged me to believe him and to get him out of the jail. Heck, it was haunting me at nights. 

Other than not being able to sleep properly, I was also doing my least favourite thing in the world - hiding. I was hiding from world, from papz, from everyone that knew me, except from Harry. I couldn't even bare to see girls right now, that's how much I was in a bad condition. 

I open my eyes, once again staring at the ceiling and not knowing what to wish for. To sleep? I'll just have nightmares. To dawn? Days are even worse than nights. It's 4 am and it is dark outside, so dark, that you actually can't see anything. I like it, because that is how I feel inside right now. I like it because it's so dark that I don't have to face anyone or anything. 

I don't have to pretend that I don't see how my brother is the biggest scandal and topic on every channel. I don't have to look at missed calls and numerous messages on my phone. I don't have to force a normal face expression because Harry's asleep. 

I can feel his heartbeat on my shoulder, because he's laying right behind me, with his long arms wrapped around me. Somehow that one sound is the only thing making me alive right now. 

I don't know what would I do without him. 

I accidently sigh louder than I intended to and my heart starts beating faster as I feel Harry moving behind me. 

"Jade? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just ... hit my toe accidently. Sorry that I woke you up, go back to sleep." I say gently, hoping that he will believe in my lie and let it go. 

 "No worries. You can't sleep, can you?" he says and turns me around, so I can face him. 

"I can't." I admit, placing my fingers on his beautiful face. He kisses my fingers and I feel shivers running down my spine because of his touch. It's crazy how I keep feeling like he touched me for the first time even though we've been together for more than 7 months. 

"Whatever is on your mind right now, tell me. Please." he says as he leans closer and kisses my lips gently, knowing him - too gently. He's been nothing but careful these days, obviously not wanting to cross the line and take advantage of me when I'm vulnerable. 

The more I got to know about Harry, the more I respected him as a person. 

"It's the same every night. There's no point in saying it out loud all over again." I say, remembering how he had to listen about the darkness I felt inside at 5 am last night. I was such a lame excuse for a girlfriend it hurt. 

"If you want to say it out loud again, you can." he says, but I've already made up my mind. 

In one move, I'm on top of him and I can tell that this plot twist surprised him. He opens his mouth to try to stop me, but I shut him with mine. 

"I know what I'm doing." I reply to his thoughts, putting his large palm back in my hair. 

I need him now more than anything. Just the sound of him moaning my name will make me forget about everything else for awhile. 

Once I was up, dressed in nothing but Harry's big, plain black, t-shirt, I left his bedroom, heading to the kitchen, knowing that I'll find him there. He was making us breakfast in nothing but his boxers and I couldn't help but silently appear behind him and put my arms around him.