Sing to me

Chapter 34

It’s been a day, since we arrived in South Shields. The sun was shining, the weather was beautiful. Complete opposite of how I felt on the inside.

My mum was so happy when we arrived, she couldn’t stop hugging both of us.  I could tell she was falling apart because of Karl, but she was putting a smile on her face and pretending she was strong, like she always did.

Harry and I had slept in my old room, which was still pink and girly. My mum hadn’t changed a thing, since I left.

Thankfully, we both managed to fit in my bed, but Harry kept complaining how he can’t fall asleep because “fucking pink unicorns are staring at him”. He was making me laugh until 3 am and then we both fell asleep in each other’s arms.

Now, it was 10:30 am and I was laying in my backyard, tanning and enjoying the peace. This was my way of charging my batteries – some quiet and peaceful time with myself.

I heard the sound of the door and turned around to see my mother joining me.

“Good morning.” I said and smiled.

“Good morning, baby girl. Did you sleep well?” she wanted to know.

“Yeah. I felt like a little girl again. With a boy in my bed.” I said and we both chuckled.

“And not just a boy – but a notorious Harry Styles in your bed.” she teased.

“Mom!” I complained, but couldn’t help but laugh.

“Just sayin’ … How have you two been recently? Everything fine in your relationship?”

“It is, I can’t really complain about anything. He’s perfect … too perfect. And that scares me.” I admitted.

“You think that your happiness won’t last? That something bad will happen?” she asked and I nodded.

“Honey, you can’t have a normal life, if you’re too paranoid and cautious about everything. Yes, bad things will happen, but sitting and waiting for them to appear right behind the corner is the worst you can do. Enjoy in every beautiful and happy moment you can.” she said gently.

I knew she was right, but it was easier to say it.

“He puts me before everything else. Before One Direction, boys. I mean, I love him more than I loved anyone in my life, but Little Mix and girls are always No. 1 to me. I don’t want to be Yoko Ono for One Direction.”

I then told her about what happened in the car, when Harry and Niall talked over the phone and Harry almost refused to go on a meeting with Simon.

“First of all, let me tell you something – you aren’t and you will never be Yoko Ono for One Direction. Yoko Ono was influencing John Lennon and manipulating him and you aren’t doing that with Harry. Every decision he makes – it is absolutely his decision. You always do what’s best for him and Yoko Ono didn’t do that. Second of all, I do agree with you. He should have 1D and his fellas as a priority. I know what you’re afraid of. You’re afraid that one day he will be depending too much on you.”

As always, my mum would guess what I’m thinking and help me analyse it all. Two heads are smarter than one.

“I mean, don’t get me wrong – I want to be with him forever. But I’m also aware that there’s no such thing as forever and that we will probably at one point break up. I don’t want to be responsible for destroying him. He has already been hurt by too many people in his life.” I said.

“That’s one very mature way of thinking – and I can’t say I’m surprised, you were always more mature than kids your age. As I said before, you don’t know what will the future bring to you. From my point of view, I have to say that you two are meant to be. There is 50% of chance that I’m right.” she comforted me.