Flip Me

3.4

Harry
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5 days til graduation.
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"She won't stop texting me." I huffed towards Kiara. The sun was beating down on our backs as we sat on the park swings.

"He tried to apologize to me that night, but Harry I am so done with all of these lies." Kiara's eyes were red from tears over the last few days. She looked the same way I felt.

It was hard to talk about all the hurting because it's something I could never put into words. It hurt ached... all over my body.

I do know that Kiara had nothing to do with their plan to use me. She found out the same day I did-- Dylan telling her, Effy is just using Harry, and I'm sorry but I love her, and I was apart of it too. -- he was so calm about it, it was disgusting.

"Who knew that all of us would be split, right down the fucking middle." She whispered.

As we laid against the grass looking up at the summer sky, I tried to slow my breathe. I wanted anything to stop the rush of blood, my burning lungs, quivering thoughts. I was turning into mush and mud filled with tears and shakes at night. "I loved her." Every time I wanted to say something about it all, that's the only thing I could think of because that's what shook my mind.

No matter how much I loved her she kept using me, she never told me. I couldn't believe that someone like her could do this to me because what does that say about our friendship? Has she always used me? The worst part is not being able to express myself. There was no right words just 'i lover her.' and 'it hurts'.

The ground beneath us shook with a small vibration, and I felt a presence coming near as we both lifted ourselves up and turned towards the sidewalk. As I squinted my eyes against the sun I saw her. She came closer with each step and I could physically feel myself backing farther away from her as she reached me.

Her eyes were filled with deep circles around them, her face in a permanent frown, her body slouched, hair in tangles. I couldn't feel remorse. I looked at her and thought, in the simplest of form, 'I love you.'

"Please stop moving away from me." She huffed as if she had just sprinted to get here.

She was dangled her hands, and gripping at her jeans. "Leave Effy- please- you've done enough." I subconsciously thanked Kiara for standing up for me.

"Kiara, I know that. I - I just need to say this." Her voice was in shakes, just like my whole body.

I could feel my widen as she grabbed onto my hands, I could feel my pulse sink, and hollow, and speed as the blood rushed to her fingers that held onto mine, and it felt so familiar and so good, but I still jerked my hand away.

Her eyes widened and frowned at my sharp shock to disconnect our contact before she spoke, "Okay just listen to me."

I stood still, staring at her.

"Do you want me to leave Harry?" Kiara asked and although Effy said yes I roughly shook my head no.

A loud gasp of air flew out of Effy's beautiful lips, and I had to fight the urge to run my thumb against her bottom
one before she spoke, "I know I did some
horrible things for stupid reasons, but I'm scared. I can't lose you. We've been friends for so long and then when I started my stupid plan, and lost my virginity to Dylan I lost myself. No matter how hard I tried I kept looking at you, and my mom, and the eviction notices on my front door, and I couldn't stop. I had to find the money for school, I had to leave this place, I had to- I had to..."

I could see the water streaming out of her eyes, and I stepped back from her again. " I was so afraid of being hurt because so much was going on and I was so scared that what we had was all in my head."

It was hurting again, even more this time. "But I love you Harry, I know now I-"

"Go!" I screamed. Everything was turning, and pushing, and hurting.

"Please just stop! Listen to me! I love you I do, I don't want to leave yo-"

"Leave me the fuck alone!" I didn't care about the croak in my voice, and as soon as my hands started grasping my shirt and trying to tear that damn weight of my
chest that kept keep pushing down Kiara yelled at her to go too.

"Harry...." She whimpered again, but knowing not to grab onto me.

"I loved you, I loved you. And I can't anymore." I was full on crying again, the tears on my lips, hair tugging through my fingers. It was all to familiar.

"You can! You can! We can!" She shouted but I saw her feet move away, and in those steps I kept seeing the lies, and the lies. She kept stepping away from me, leaving the way I told her to, even though she was still begging me.  I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I do love you.

It was all in my head and in my heart. It was something that stung and burnt and bruised.

As I looked up to see if she was gone, I was right. The place was clear above me, Kiara's arms hung tightly around my shoulders in a hug, and we both fell back onto the grass.

I don't know how long I cried in her arms. There was nothing romantic about it, we both just cried because we were weak, and believed them, and loved them.

As time passed by a ding left Kiara's phone and she slowly picked it up, untangling her arms around mine.  Oddly she began to laugh as she read the text.

"It's Dylan. That fucking bastard." She laughed again, even though tears were still on her cheeks.

I quickly grabbed her phone to read it.

From Dylan:

I know I shouldn't be texting you, but you left before the awards and I just wanted to let you know we won. We won The Circus.

*****
Yeah? they won?!

Talk to me:
Would you guys rather Harry get together with a new girl? Or fall in love with Kiara?

5 More chapters left till the very LONG EPILOGUE! (with a two year gap)

xo