13 // "You don't own me"

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There was a party for all the management team, coaches, stylists, and band members. It was very formal, and I wore a long black dress and wore my hair up for once in an elegant updo.

Various band members performed voluntarily, mostly in Korean. I couldn't understand a lot of it.

Some of the boys came over - Chanyeol, Chen, and Lay. "Our song is done," Chen said. "We recorded it without Kim J knowing." He smiled.

"And behind my back too," I acknowledged. 

"Well, that isn't so hard," Chen said.

D.O was on stage, singing. This song was actually in English.

"Do you know this song?" Chanyeol asked me.

I exhaled, smiling. "Yeah. Ed Sheeran's Photograph. D.O is really good at pronouncing English."

"Yeah, we all pretty much hate him for it," Lay said. "Anyway, we're wanting you to listen to it, then convince Kim J to get it on the album. We think if we have you on our side, we can convince him."

I nodded. "Okay, sounds good."

Lay smiled. "You really are one of our best managers."

I smiled back, and D.O ended the song, so we all cheered for him. Then Xiumin got on stage and I thought he was going to sing. Instead he had a look on his face that I immediately knew I couldn't trust. "And now, our manager, Amelia Lawson."

The audience cheered, and the boys looked at me. "You're performing?" Lay asked.

"You sing?" Baekhyun asked.

I looked around, freaking out. Where was Kai? Was he faking being nice to me again? And I thought I was actually making progress with Xiumin. "Amelia told me that it's her dream to perform here at SM Entertainment."

"Go up there!" The boys exclaimed, practically pushing me on stage.

I took the mic from Xiumin, who looked so attractive right now with his hair parted off sophisticated to the side, yet so awful. Xiumin was still trying to make me look bad. I kept a smile. "I don't know what Xiumin is talking about. I don't sing."

"Don't be shy," Xiumin said, smirking.

I laughed quietly, thinking of all the songs I could actually perform. I then remembered a song I had been working on before I came to Korea. My ex boyfriend inspired me to cover it, and then before I had an opportunity to record, I got hired at SM Entertainment and left. "Okay, okay."

I took the mic and walked over to the grand piano, sliding the microphone into the stand. "Now... SM pays me to be a manager, not a performer. My apologies to all your ears." I exhaled, and began the chords to "You Don't Own Me" by Grace. "You don't own me," I sang in my raw, deep voice. I concentrated so hard at playing the correct chords while singing. It had been several weeks.

"You don't own me, 
I'm not just one of your many toys.
You don't own me,
Don't say I can't go with other boys."  I shot a glance at Xiumin standing, his mouth hanging open.

"Don't tell me what to do
And don't tell me what to say
Please, when I go out with you
Don't put me on display"

At this point I was belting, and I was confident enough to look up more from the piano. I looked at Xiumin as I sang,
"You don't own me
Don't try to change me in any way
You don't own me
Don't tie me down cause I'd never stay

 I don't tell you what to say
I don't tell you what to do
So just let me be myself
That's all I ask of you
I'm young and I love to be young
I'm free and I love to be free
To live my life the way I want
To say and do whatever I please" 
I finished the last chord while smiling into the microphone. I grabbed the mic as the audience erupted in applause, and walked over to Xiumin, smirking. My back facing the audience as I handed the mic back to him, I said, "You don't mess with me. You'll just lose."

I joined the boys again, and they surrounded me. "You sing," Baekhyun said. "You freaking sing. All this time...and no one knew!"

"Dude, that's why she makes comments during vocal practice. She knows what she's talking about," D.O said. "Did you study music at university?"

"I minored in it," I answered.

"You know, Xiumin studied music at university," Sehun said, giving me a look. Did he know Xiumin was my bias? Did everyone know? I was so confused.

I went back to my dorm room. I was getting ready to go to bed, then remembered the song. I was still in my dress, but my hair was down and I was out of my heels, so I was at least a little comfortable. I walked over to Chanyeol's room and knocked. He opened. "Amelia?"

"The song - can I hear it?"

"Yeah, of course," Chanyeol said, leading me into his room.

"I also need to download it so I can show Kim J tomorrow," I said.

"Yeah, sure." He shook his head. "Sorry, this is shocking. No manager has ever done this for us."

"Why? Because if the songs are crap, they should stay off the album," I said.

"No. They never even listen, because the album already has the songs."

"Oh," I said. "Can I have the translated lyrics? I don't mean to be a pain-"

"I knew you'd ask that," Chanyeol said, handing me a piece of paper while pressing play.

The song was amazing. I ended up getting tears in my eyes. When the song ended, the tears ran down my cheeks. "Hey," Chanyeol said, putting an arm around me. "Hey. It's okay."

I wiped the tears from my cheeks. 2014 was such a hard, miserable year. I cried so much when I found out Kris left, and then again with Luhan. "If that year was hard for us fans...I can't imagine how hard it was for you guys. And you guys freaking...you lost members. Because of management."

"Hey, no. That won't happen again, okay? Listen. Everyone's happy now. They love you. Even Xiumin...although he'll never admit it."

I stood up, and gave Chanyeol a quick hug. "Thanks Chanyeol."

"Xiumin tried framing you tonight, didn't he?" Chanyeol asked.

I nodded.

"You did amazing."

"Thanks Chanyeol," I said, and walked out of his dorm and into the hallway to go to my room. When I was about to open my door, another door down the hall opened. It was Xiumin.

He slowly walked over to me. "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry for not publicly humiliating me?" I questioned.

"Stop," Xiumin said, holding onto my arm so I wouldn't walk away. "I'm such a jerk.. But.." His other hand went to my neck and leaned in to press his lips against mine. At first I was resisting, but then I just let it happen. We began making out, and his hand slipped behind me to my doorknob to open it so we could go inside.


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