44 // "Please wake up"

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"No," I said, tears immediately swelling in my eyes. "I'm on my way. I'll call you when I get there," I said, and hung up.

"Amelia, what's wrong?" Jungkook asked, standing up and walking over to me.

"It's Xiumin...I have to go-"

"What's going on?"

"He's in the hospital...he won't wake up..." I wanted to rush to the hospital, but I just fell to the floor and began crying into my hands. "He's dying," I said. "That's why I left. He was supposed to leave EXO, but he decided to stay. I just couldn't watch him slowly die because of me."

Jungkook joined my side, and put his hand on my back, rubbing it. "I didn't know," he said. "I'll go with you to the hospital."

"No, the whole band will be there. Don't worry about me," I told him.

"But what about getting there? I'll just come right back here after we go to the hospital," Jungkook said.

"I'm going too," Jimin said, standing up. "I feel strong again."

"Oh my gosh," I said. "Fine." I grabbed some things from my room and we left the building, got in a taxi, and went to the hospital. "Text me when you both get back," I told them. "I want to make sure you're both okay."

They nodded, and the taxi rode off down the street. I quickly walked inside the hospital, and I called Chanyeol's phone, only to immediately hang up as I saw him in the waiting room. He stood up and jogged over to me and gave me a hug. "Thank you for coming," he said.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I thought he just passed out again," Chanyeol said. "We were practicing, and he just collapsed. He never woke up. We've never had to call the ambulance before.." We began walking to the elevator. "Are you okay? I saw something about a manager being fired for hitting someone in BTS."

"Oh," I said. "I'm okay. Don't worry about it right now. It's not important. Are you doing okay? Last time I saw you..."

"I could be better, but it's not important right now." We stepped inside the elevator. "I heard about you dating someone else."

"No. That's not true," I said. "I was dating, but not seriously. He just told Xiumin that we were dating to screw everything up." I closed my eyes, holding back the tears. If Xiumin dies, he'll die thinking I'm a horrible person.

"Oh," Chanyeol said. "How is it going-"

"No, it's over. So over."

"Sorry..I didn't know."

"We don't have to talk about this," I said. "How has Xiumin been the past few weeks?"

"He was doing so much better. This really surprised all of us." The elevator doors opened to the floor we were supposed to be on, and we began walking together. Chanyeol looked over at me as we walked, but I didn't look at him. "You know, Xiumin doesn't hate you. I think you hurt him...but he doesn't hate you."

A tear rolled down my cheek. As we came around the corner, Chanyeol led me into a cramped waiting room filled with the EXO boys. They all gathered around, greeting me, and I quickly wiped my eyes. They didn't look happy either. "Where's Lay?" I asked.

"China."

I nodded. "Shana?"

"You know our manager?" Kai asked.

"I mean, I've talked to her..." I said.

"She was here, but then she left. Something about wanting to sleep tonight," Kai explained.

"You all do need your sleep," I said.

"Some of us will leave in a while," Chanyeol told me. "I think we're all just hopeful he's going to wake up. And the doctor won't tell us anything, since we're not family."

I exhaled. "Can I see him?"

"Of course," Chanyeol said. He walked with me to his room. When we got to his door, my heart started beating faster. "Are you going to be okay?"

I hesitantly nodded. "I think so." I walked in, and Chanyeol left me. I saw Xiumin laying there, hooked up to machines to keep him breathing. To keep him alive. Seeing this broke me.

The door swung open. "Oh, hello," the doctor said. "Someone not from EXO. I'm Doctor Wang. And you are?"

I wasn't sure if I should lie or not. Should I be Xiumin's girlfriend, or manager? "I'm Amelia," I said. Fine, I'll just say the truth. "Ex-manager. Ex....whatever we were. Can you tell me anything? I know I'm not family..but.."

"I'll tell you what I've told them. He needs to wake up. He has a serious heart condition where if he doesn't begin to live a different life, he will die. And when...or if he wakes up, he cannot participate in any activities. I can't stress that enough. Why haven't I seen their manager tonight?"

I shrugged, shaking my head. "I don't know."

"Anyway, I'll leave you alone." Doctor Wang walked out, and I walked over to Xiumin. I looked at him for a while, then pulled a chair over to his side.

I sat down in the chair, and held his hand carefully, afraid I would hurt him. His skin was so soft, but so cold. "I don't know if you can hear me," I said. "But I came as fast as I could, right when Kai called me. He was really worried, you know." I paused. "I have so much to tell you...and I don't know if you can hear me." I had to stop talking because my throat was closing up as I began to silently cry. I wiped my tears away with my other hand, that wasn't holding Xiumin's hand.

I sighed, when I could bring myself back together. "Today's been rather eventful, actually. I got in trouble at Big Hit. I got someone fired. Actually...I may just spend the night here, because it's probably safer for me. But don't worry about me! Worry about yourself...I need you to wake up." My voice broke again. "Please wake up. I just....I need you. Even if you don't forgive me. If we don't end up together again, I don't care. I just want you okay."

I thought I was imagining it as his lifeless hand gently held mine tighter. As if he heard me.

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