20 // "What are you doing?"

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I was working on emails late at night when there was a soft knock on the door. I looked at it as it opened slowly, Xiumin's head poking through.

"Minseok," I acknowledged, and looked at my phone for the time. "It's late. You should be sleeping."

"Can't," he said. "I wanted to talk."

"Talk?" My heart started racing. "What's wrong?"

"No," Xiumin said, a smile breaking through. "Tell me your story. I don't even know your middle name."

I spun to face him on my chair as he sat down on my bed. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, seriously," Xiumin said.

"Okay," I said. "Um, where do I start?"

"Start with your middle name?"

"Joy."

"Amelia Joy Lawson," Xiumin repeated back to me. I nodded. "I like that."

"Thanks," I said.

"I'd say my name, but you already know it." He looked down at the floor, smiling. "I like when you call me Minseok."

I shrugged, smiling. "I like when you call me Amy."

"I like the way your face lights up when I call you Amy. That's why I keep doing it. Just..." he hesitated, "be careful calling me Minseok around the others. You have to treat us all the same when we're with each other. I doubt you'll be calling Chen 'Jongdae' or Kai 'Jongin' anytime soon."

"Probably not."

"Do you have siblings?" Xiumin asked.

"An older sister," I said. "You?"

"A younger sister. I'd tell you about her...but I've been trying so hard through the years to keep her hidden from everything. She needs to live her own, normal life and not associated with me."

"I understand," I said.

Xiumin nodded. "Okay, so what are you going to do after SM Entertainment? Not that you're at risk for getting fired anymore, because they're using you now. I'm just curious."

"I'll probably try to get hired at Big Hit, or go back to America."

Xiumin suddenly looked offended. "Big Hit? Seriously? Why not YG or JYP? You got SM, why not try the others in the big three?"

"Big Hit seems chill. They're doing a good job."

"Let me guess. You like BTS too?"

"Well, yeah. Who doesn't?" I asked.

"Do you have a bias in that group too?" Xiumin asked.

"Of course. Namjoon," I said, then smiled. "Are you jealous, Minseok?"

Xiumin jokingly glared at me. "You're not going to work at Big Hit. And you're not going back to America."

"Sorry, but that's the reality," I said.

"What would make you stay?" Xiumin asked.

"What?"

"In Korea. What would make you stay in Korea?"

"I don't know," I said. "I always knew this would be temporary. My whole life is in America."

Xiumin's eyes were no longer looking at mine, but focused on a corner on the floor, obviously in thought. "I don't want you to go back to America. Even after you leave SM."

"Or work at Big Hit?"

"That too."

"Then what am I supposed to do?" I asked. There was suddenly a knock on my door, and I froze, looking at Xiumin.

He swiftly grabbed my wrist, pulling me in one strong motion onto the bed with him. I didn't know what he was thinking as my body fell on top of his torso, and then he rolled over so he was on top of me. I swear my heart stopped beating as Xiumin looked into my eyes for that short half second and then rolled swiftly onto the floor, under my bed and out of sight. The door opened immediately after, Kai walking in.

"Kai," I acknowledged, sitting up from my bed. I hoped my face didn't look flushed. "What are you doing?"

"We need to talk," he said, sitting down in my desk chair.

"This isn't professional," I said. "You should just schedule a meeting with me for tomorrow." I got up from my bed and walked over to my desk, standing beside him. I grabbed my planner and opened it. "3? Isn't that your free time?"

"I'm not wasting my free time for a stupid meeting," Kai said. "Tell me what's going on between you and Xiumin."

"There's nothing."

"You're a bad liar," Kai said, standing up and walking towards me to corner me to the wall. "Try again."

"Nothing is going on between Xiumin and me," I said again, my voice more shaky than usual.

"Liar," Kai breathed, and his hand went to my neck and he began to lean in.

"What are you doing!?" I asked, but he kept leaning in.

"Kai!"

Kai immediately stopped, and backed away. Xiumin was standing in the doorway. He must have snuck out from under the bed when Kai wasn't paying attention. "What are you doing?" Xiumin asked, repeating what I just said.

"Shouldn't I ask you two that? I know you just crawled out from under the bed," Kai said. "I'm not stupid, and I can get her fired."

"But you had to kiss her first?" Xiumin demanded.

Kai backed away from me, and approached Xiumin. I could finally breathe again. Kai is so attractive it's overwhelming, but he wasn't a good person.

"Do you really want to question me?" Kai asked. A smirk formed on his lips. "You know she's holding you back. Ever since that one picture of you two making out on the bridge got leaked."

"You did that to me," Xiumin said, "not her."

"You know the truth," Kai said.

Xiumin shook his head. "I don't even care that much anymore."

"Because you got Tao's lines. Just wait, Tao will be back and you'll be a nobody in this band again."

"You should leave," I said to Kai. "I'm serious."

"And I think you should go back to America," Kai said. "Sooner rather than later. Oh, and I'm not leaving this room before Xiumin does."

"Fine! Both of you, leave!" I exclaimed. They walked out the door, and I closed it behind me, locking it.

I was holding Xiumin back, and he would eventually hate me for it.


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