17 // "Tao is hurt"

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I walked into Kim J's office, immediately accepting my fate of being fired.

"Good news," Kim J said. "D.O confessed to leaking the song. We need to rewrite the lines distribution. I want to make things simple and not have to redistribute everyone."

"Uh, okay," I said, looking at the papers. "I'm not being biased, no pun intended, but Xiumin could take over for D.O's lines in verse 2."

"Or Tao," Kim J said, giving me a look.

"Or Tao. It's awkward still doing the Chinese version without having an official Exo-M group anymore."

Kim J exhaled. "I'm not in the mood for your snarky comments and how you think things should be run here. To be perfectly honest, I don't have a lot of confidence in Xiumin and I don't feel like we should give him that many lines."

"Okay," I said, giving in. "Give the lines to Tao."

"Okay. I'll let D.O keep the bridge, that's it," Kim J, writing stuff down. "Thank you, Amelia. Have a good rest of your night."

"You too," I said, and left. I walked quickly back upstairs to our floor and I found D.O in his room surrounded by a bunch of the others.

"I lost all my lines," D.O explained, his voice sounding so sad.

I knocked on the door, letting them know of my presence. "D.O, I need to talk to you."

"Sure," D.O said, and followed me to my room. I closed my door.

"You...you knew, didn't you?" I asked.

D.O nodded.

"You could have just told him, you know," I said.

"I know," D.O said. "Sometimes...people have to make sacrifices for other people. I still want you as our manager, and maybe some still don't like you, like Kai...truth be told, they wouldn't want anyone else. Life would get so bad if we got someone else."

I nodded slightly.

"You leaked it because you knew Kim J would feel pressured to put it on the repackage album, right?" D.O asked.

I shook my head. "I leaked it so your fans could hear it."

D.O closed his eyes slowly, then opened them. "You really are a great manager."

"Then why don't I feel like it? You lost your lines."

"I know," D.O said. "I'll survive. I need to focus on Call Me Baby anyway. Our first show is this weekend."

I nodded, and gave D.O a quick hug. "You're amazing, D.O. I don't know how I could ever thank you."

"Just keep doing what you're doing. I think we're going to survive with you."

I made sure all of the boys practiced enough before their first show at MNET. The morning of, Tao came to me. "I'm not sure about some things," he said carefully.

"What do you mean?" I asked him.

"I think...I need a break."

My eyes widened. "Tao, it's the big comeback. You can't just take a break now."

"Amelia, you're not listening to me. I have to take a break or else I won't ever get better."

I looked at him. "Get better? Tao..are you okay?"

He shook his head. "I'm going on tonight because of the fans. They paid lots of money to see us so we'll give them a good show. But I may not do the best out there. I wanted to warn you of that."

"I'll totally defend you, to Kim J," I said.

"You don't need to," he said. "Kim J told me I could."

I nodded. "Okay."

I had to walk this out. Tao taking a break? For how long? Did everyone know? Was this actually an excuse to leave? No, Tao wasn't leaving. He couldn't be leaving.

He wouldn't leave.

Tao wouldn't leave.

He would keep going. He loves the fans. He loves the boys. He has to stay. And if he doesn't...what could I have done differently? If he leaves...it's my fault.

"Amelia, what's wrong?" Xiumin asked me backstage. I didn't realize I had tears swelling up in my eyes so that single tears were rolling down my cheeks.

"Don't worry about it," I told him. Did he even know? "Just focus on having a great show." He nodded, still looking concerned. I pulled him away from everyone, and smiled. "You look great tonight, Minseok."

Xiumin smiled. "Thank you."

"Minseok...tell me, who covers for Tao?"

"I do."

"You cover all his lines?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Okay," I said.

"Why do you ask?" Xiumin asked. "Amy, you're freaking out. Don't do that, you're making me nervous."

"You need to get back over there, it's almost time for you to perform," I said. "I'll be in the first row."

"Okay," he said, smiling. He quickly kissed me on the cheek before walking towards the others.

I wiped a single tear on my cheek and found my way to the front row with the other manages and Kim J. Kai started off the song, and I kept cringing at his hair. I was so proud of everyone nailing the first part of the song - there was so much energy. And then Tao came on.

I kept my eyes on Tao much more than Xiumin. I was so afraid Tao would just collapse. A manager whispered to me, "wow, Tao sticks out like a sore thumb."

"Tao is hurt," I snapped.

At the end of the song, I ran out to find them backstage and to their dressing/styling room. "We have so many things to fix," Baekhyun said to me right as I came in.

"Oh, so now you're going to cry to Amelia about it?!" Chen snapped to Baekhyun.

"What's going on?" I asked, irritated. I just wanted to make sure Tao was okay and kiss Xiumin and tell him he did a good job even though I couldn't watch Xiumin without freaking out about Tao.

"Someone decided not to sing the first chorus with me!" Baekhyun exclaimed, directing towards Chen.

"You're not even alone," I acknowledged to Baekhyun. "Don't just depend on Chen."

"Okay, but Xiumin is quiet and Kai and Sehun can't even sing," Baekhyun said. "Basically it's just Chen and me until D.O and Chanyeol come in. Then it's a party. But until then it's sketchy."

"We'll figure it out tomorrow," I said, and walked over to Tao, who was holding his waist, his face twisted in pain. "Tao, are you okay?"

He shook his head.

Xiumin came over. "Tao, we should get you to a doctor."

Tao nodded.

Xiumin looked at me. "Amy, usually Tao refuses to see a doctor. This isn't good."

"My mother is here," Tao said. "I suppose we can take her car to the hospital but I don't want her to see me like this."

"Let's go find her," Xiumin said, nodding for me to go on Tao's other side so we could physically support Tao all the way to outside and to his mother's car. I didn't get very far with Tao before a bodyguard took my place, but I still followed.

And I wish I hadn't, because I saw Tao's mother in tears. Crying.

How can a mother just see her son in so much pain - that I helped cause?


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