Chapter 17

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I sounded too judgemental as I questioned him. And he flinched back a little, he was face to face with me.

"I mean, if you wanted to?" He was uncertain. My tone had been too harsh. His eyes delved deep into mine, trying to scan for my emotion.

"Yeah, okay" I sounded half hearted and I had ruined the sexy instinctual atmosphere. He pulled back and let go of me. He swam out a little bit.

"I ruined, I'm so sorry." He paused, holding his forehead as he shook his head, looking down at the water. " It's way too soon, I'm so stupid" I could barely hear the last sentence he was so quiet.

"No, no Finn" I swam over to him and held him. " I want to" I said with certainty, smiling, trying desperately to lift his mood.

"Really?" He raised his lowered head. He was so hopeful.

Before I could respond I started to analyse the fact that his happiness depended on how ready I was to have sex. I wanted that not to effect my readiness to do it but it did.

"I do," I paused slightly.

He sighed and mocked me.

"But? I can tell a 'but' is coming, Liv"

This annoyed me a little more, making fun of such a tender subject. I let it slide, he was uncomfortable and people act differently when uncomfortable.

"But, " I emphasised "not yet" I said. I watched his face for a reaction.

His lips pulled into a smile an I smiled back.

"Whatever you want to do, I want to do, Livy baby"

"What I want to do is eat" I said and started swimming toward the shore, he laughed and followed closely behind me.

I walked up to the blanket and wrapped myself in a towel. Finn did the same, pulling a towel around his hips. I looked through the basket he packed, eagerly awaiting food.

"Finn, are you serious?" I asked laughing, "you packed cheese and crackers and the rest is alcohol!"

"Three bottles of wine"

"What about dinner?" I scowled at him but still giggling at his impractical nature.

Through a laugh, he apologised.

"You're driving, so were the three bottles of wine all for me?"

"I didn't really think"

We decided to go home and have a late dinner back at the restaurant. We wriggled our clothes on uncomfortably. My moist skin made my clothes sticky and cling to me. On the drive home we didn't speak about sex or anything of importance really. I told pun jokes and he groaned and laughed. The jokes got worse and worse as the bottles of wine I was sculling back got lighter and lighter.

It was dark when we got back to the hotel. The restaurant was closed and I held tightly on to Finn as we walked back to his room to attack the mini-bar. The ground was spinning and it felt like I fell over a hundred times getting to the room, before I slumped onto Finn's bed. I watched as the roof spun and spun and spun. My throat felt a familiar burning.

"Finny," I slurred, my head felt clustered and sore. "I think I'm going to vomi-" and my hands cupped to catch a mouthful of spew. My eyes felt heavy and all I wanted was for the throbbing in my brain and the burning swishing in my stomach and throat to stop.

Somewhere in me knew closing my eyes would cease the discomfort.

"Liv, stay awake, you need to open your eyes" Finn demanded and pleaded.

My eyes locked shut.

"I'm so tired"

And I was asleep.

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