Truth or Dare (Jack and Finn Harries fanfiction)

Chapter 23

I had felt two pairs of eyes watching me intently for my response. I tried to think of an answer that would not sound like I was blaming Finn.

"It was my first time and I guess it just hurt a lot" I said shyly after a long pause of me looking at the ground and shuffling awkwardly.

The Zoe's big brown eyes meet mine and they radiated understanding. Louise rubbed my back gently.

"Wasn't he gentle; guys are more gentle if it's your first time?" Louise asked sympathetically. They were being so loving and caring that I didn't hesitate with the honest answer.

"I didn't tell him" I was looking down at the the dry concrete, unable to make eye contact. I was anxious of their response. Was it bad that I didn't tell him? Now the idea of not informing him of my very intact virginity seemed terrible. It was my fault and I had to explain my failure. I moved between their stares of confusion. I could tell they had a lot to say but were waiting for me to speak the words that were on the tip of my tongue.

"I was too nervous, I've never really had friends like you two. I wasn't sure what I was doing."

Everything I said was barely audible but by made a 'naw' noise, they had heard every word. After I was completely and thoroughly drowned in sympathy and love, Zoe asked a question that I had simultaneously dreaded and anticipated since Finn and I had sex.

"When are you going to try again?"

"I don't know, I guess the next time he wants to" I said with enough uncertainty to make me question myself as soon as I finished speaking my answer.

"No," they said in sync and I was a little thrown by the certainty in their voices.

"You let him do it his way the last time and how did that work out?" Louise had changed the quiet and loving tone of her voice to an authoritative and hard voice. I could tell she was going give me advice, and by the sounds of her voice it was going to be good. I was ready for it. But her question had slightly stung and it hurt as I admitted the honest truth.

"Not good" I winced a little, trying to avoid the idea my first time wasn't the greatest most pleasure-charged experience I had expected.

"Not good at all" Zoe agreed, nodding her head.

"So I think it's time to take control, have sex on your own terms." Louise said. My anxiety had dropped. I had been dreading sex again. I wanted to feel good so bad and Louise definitely had a point.

"Try things and the things you like do more of" Zoe added, smiling reassuringly. And with that comment I was ready to try again, sex was going to be different.

We walked back to the boys still surrounding the map on the good of the car. I felt power. I had been too concerned with Finn's pleasure that I had neglected my own. Tonight was going to be a very special night.