Stupid in love ✔

22~ "Are we shooting for Gangster movie, part 2?"

AHANA

My life could be summed up in just one word right now. Yes, one word- Suffocating.

What could possibly suffocate me when I wasn't bound by anything at all? Besides the fact that I was suffering from cold, the real reason was loneliness. It consumed me slowly but painfully. Things just became worse after Lisa left. A single day felt like a week to me. There was nothing special to look forward to. Even at college, it was just hollow greetings and casual talks with my casual friends. I'd busy myself with them until they talked with someone else and forget about me.

Vansh didn't make it any better either. I still felt guilty for getting carried away at the music store. But since he helped me so it was only natural to return the gratitude. I was happy when he decided not to ignore me but then I recalled all the rude things he did. How could he ask me to be friends, without properly apologizing, only to throw a fit at me in the end. 

The only good thing in college would be the dance club which was, unfortunately, three times a week. Dancing did distract my mind for a bit. Template was a good person too, except we weren't great friends to begin with. Maybe I should deepen my bonds with her.

There was nothing to look forward in my temporary shelter either. I tried though, I honestly did, but watching another family bonding with each other wasn't my idea of entertainment. It would only make me envy them. Plus, they never bothered about my well being. The Mehtas weren't exactly rude to me but they never cared about me either. It left me wondering which was more worse.

Probably the fact that I was becoming non existent to everyone around here. Like everyone was leaving me behind one by one.

It felt exactly like last time.

No, no, no...

I cannot let history repeat itself and be left out all over again. It was the one thing I feared the most. But what if everyone forgets about me? What if I'm just a passerby to everyone. I cannot let that happen either. Stop being paranoid, Ahana, everyone certainly remembers you. My parent, my old friends, they are all there for me, aren't they? Oh you mean, the ones at the other side of the globe.

"Dammit!" I yelled in an attempt to stop the voices in my own head and clutched on to my head with my hands, feeling restless. I took in a few breaths and drank water to calm myself. I don't think anything good will come out by locking myself in the room all day long. It will only make me feel more feverish. I need to get out of this cage I created with my negative thoughts. I need to relinquish myself. Of course I would need a companion for that.

So I picked up my phone and called Mark. It was only natural, considering he had been there for me during these tough times.

My good mood kicked in as soon as I met with Mark. We were at a restaurant cum bar enjoying the delight of Chinese food. I complained about my problems to him but it looked like his mind was far away from here.

"Are you even listening to me? Is something the matter?" I asked, both questions in different tones.

He snapped out of his own imaginative world and looked at me, bewildered. "Ah, nothing I was just distracted. I have a bunch of class work given to me this weekend.

"And you still came for me," I teased and pulled his cheeks to cheer him up. His gaze traveled to my lips for a split second before moving elsewhere. "Don't worry, I'll leave you after an hour. It's almost night anyway."

"Hey, I don't mind ditching a shitty load of home work for you. They could be postpone to another day," he winked and I giggled.

We opted for mocktails with light tinge of alcohol in it. I was starting to feel better and energetic than before.