Stupid in love ✔

43~ "I want to believe we are endgame."

43~ “I want to believe we are endgame.”

« AHANA »

Whoever said that their first sex was mind-blowing, beautiful, unforgettable and what not, should get a kick in their nuts- or metamorphical nuts for that matter.

It was a disaster.

Don't get me wrong. The whole stripping game and the foreplay part was mind blowing. I was so turned on, I just wanted him to make love to me as soon as possible. I hardly cared about the consequences. However, when he got down to it, my heaven shattered to pieces. It hurt like a bitch. And I made it more dramatic by screaming, scaring the shit out of Vansh. I hated the look on his face, like he was guilty, when he had no reason to be. I suppressed my pain somehow and ushered him to go on. With time, the pain lessened but it never went away. I was supposed to feel full by him, instead I felt crushed with each thrust. I wanted to enjoy every bit of that time but damn, I couldn't bring myself to it. None of us were looking in the eye by the time we finished. He simply kissed me goodnight on my forehead and fell asleep.

You would be sure that the next morning after sex would turn out to be romantic, right? Oh, hell no! It wasn't anywhere near that. Instead of sharing a good morning kiss (after brushing our teeth that is), all we exchanged was awkward greetings and glances. With his unusual behavior, I couldn't figure him out, neither did I know how to initiate the conversation about last night. Worst part was this awkwardness wasn't due to shyness either, it was something else entirely.

So here I was, having a cold shower with my tears that were dissolved by the water. My legs were still a bit sore from last night. I planned to invite Vansh to this bathroom so we could bath together; I planned to order breakfast beforehand. Nothing went my way. I bet he was regretting having sex with me now. Why wouldn't he? He was so kind to me. He even made sure he went awfully slow and what did I offer in return? Disappointment. Now thinking about it, I realized I hardly did anything. I just laid there like a dead fish and cried in pain. So pathetic. He must surely regret coming to Paris with me. Who knows? By the time we return from the trip, he might consider dumping me for good. The thought alone made me cry like mad. I couldn't bear that at all. After making sure I didn't look like a crying mess, I forced a smile upon myself and exited the bathroom.

Bright sunlight fell upon the room, making it serene. Everything from walls, to curtains, to bed, was in the shades of beige and brown. The brick like wall above the bed, the lamp on the bedside table and the furniture made a beautiful contrast with each other. My eyes fell on the table and a smile replaced my dull face. My first smile in the morning. A plate of waffles, two plates of omelete, croissants and a pot lay before me. From the smell of fresh cocoa, I could tell it was coffee.

My gaze moved to Vansh who was standing besides the glass window with a cup of coffee on his hand. As if sensing my presence, he moved his head to the direction of the bathroom and stiffened. “Oh, you're done... Here's breakfast. There's waffles, croissant—”

I giggled. “I can see that, Vansh,” I said, trying to bring some humor to our situation.

His brows shoot up a little. “Oh, yeah, of course you can. Hah, silly me,” he said with a forced laugh.

Oh God, don't tell me we are going to carry on with this facade throughout the whole trip. It's goddamn Paris, not Huntsvilla!

The breakfast was okay. Atleast we were talking about something even if it was about the places we'll visit today. When I was done with eating breakfast, I poured some extra coffee from the pot to my cup. I was about to pick a cube of sugar from the bowl when my fingers accidentally brushed with Vansh's, and I froze. A strong tingling sensation shot up my arm. The kind that instantly brought images of his brawny hands on my skin, his wet lips that replaced them, the intimacy we shared last night. Slowly, his fingers reached to close with mine and I pressed my lips in anticipation. His touch alone brought an chilling sensation, crawling up my spine. And just like that, I fantasized riding on top of him in that very same chair he was sitting on, calling his name. I sucked in a breath.