Of The Now

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Thoughts of Janice kept me up half the night. She was so beautiful.... But she didn't love me.. thoughts of her trapped on the boat will never leave the back of my mind. I wish that she was here with me... Then I wouldn't feel so alone.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Vega asked making me jump slightly I had no idea how long she might have been sitting next to me.

"Janice." I told her.

"Why?"

"Because I'm worried about her."

"Why?"

"Because that's what good fiance's do. They worry about the ones they love."

"Ok so... I'm bored."

"What Dan isn't keeping you company?" I looked into the orange flame that belong to the fire that sat in front of me and I regretted saying anything. Why was this so hard?

When Guthrie, and Tigeress died I didn't care so much. Why was Dan's death so terrifying to me that I can't get past it?

"It's going to get harder isn't it?"

"Yup.."

"He was always here.."

"And now he is not."

"You don't think he was like sleeping or just passed out right?"

"I highly doubt that Vega."

"He is not fan of sharks you know so I hope he doesn't wake up."

"Vega how can you talk about him and not cry?"

"Someone has to be the strong one.. I'm done crying.. I have done too much crying. There just comes a point where I need to try to move on.. I stop crying over Guthrie a month after he had died I'm trying to see if I can stop crying earlier... It's a struggle since I'm by myself most of the time now but it's coming along."

"You know you can come sleep with Brett and I if you're lonely."

"Thanks but I'm good."

"We don't bite.. Ok Brett might because he bit me the other night. He's a little crazy sometimes but he is ok most of the time."

"Hunter I was serious when I said I wanted to be alone."

"Come on being alone is no fun."

"This whole experience is not fun."

"I know it's not but having friends is fun so come hang out with them."

"I'm hanging out with them right now."

"I meant in our make believe house. You know I never had a sleepover before." I laughed.

"I just had sleepovers with my brother growing up."

"Lucky."

"Hunter?"

"Yeah?"

"Seriously how can you do it?"

"I'm going to guess we are back on the topic of Janice?"

"Yes.. and Katie."

"Why Katie?"

"Because you like her."

"I do not."

"Yeah, you do dumbass." Ellfie told me as he sat in between Vega and I.

"I think I would know if I did."

"You kissed her.. In my book that means you have a crush."

"Shut up."

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