Save Me (Adam Lambert)

Chapter 87 - Can I Come Home?

Chapter 87:

I open the front door as a knock sounds. I sigh at the image of the person on the other side and close the door again. They quickly grab the door and walk in as I turn and trudge back into the house.

"Come on Darc, stop pushing everyone away." She sighs.

I ignore her and collapse back onto the lounge, resting my side against the back and bringing my knees to my chest as best I can.

"Alex is heartbroken. He loves you Darcy, and he just wants to know he can be with his fiancé and kids." She sits down next to me but I don't look at her.

"The weddings off. I can't do this." I let out a shaky breath, trying not to cry again.

"You're not taking care of yourself anymore Darcy. You need to remember that you're responsible for two more lives now." She points out.

"You're not here anymore!" I shout, finally looking at her.

"You haven't been here for months. You think I like it when you visit?" I say angrily.

"You know you need me, Darc. I would always come when you had your dark moments. I always made sure that you didn't remember what you did to yourself. I miss you." She says kindly.

"I miss you too, but everyone has tried to get me to talk to him. I just can't. He's going to leave, and I have to make sure I'm the one less hurt. I never wanted these twins, and if I'm going to be a good mother, I can't show how much I'm hurting." A tear slips down my cheek.

"I wish I could stay and help you." She sighs.

"So do I. You could if you really wanted to." I look at her hopefully.

She smiles sadly and her hand rests on my cheek.

"Oh sweetie, if I could stay for one more hour, I would. But I have to get back." She runs the back of her hand down my cheek, and I try to remember the feeling as best I can.

"If you have to 'get back' does that mean that you're really here? Or am I just imagining this whole thing, and you're actually back home?" I ask, hoping she is here.

"I wish I could say yes. I am so sorry that I didn't know what kind of guy Daniel was." She says, beginning to cry.

"It wasn't your fault." I shake my head.

"In a way, it was. I should have seen it. I should have known." She says, angry with herself.

"Do you really have to leave?" I say frantically. She can't leave, not again.

"I'll always love you, Darcy. But no one can know I visit. This is the last time, I promise you. Forgive Alex, he really does care." She lightly wraps her arms around me and I hug her back tightly, my eyes closing as a tear slips down my cheek.

"I love you mum." I pull back to look at her again, and when my eyes open...she's gone.

I start to sob uncontrollably, and I bring my knees back to my chest. I pull at my hair and cry. I just want her back. I need her back.

The door sounds off again and I rush to my feet, almost running to it.

"Mum?" I ask frantically as I fling the door open. He gives me a confused look and I heave a heavy sigh.

"You okay?" he asks slowly.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I turn and walk back into the lounge room. I collapse onto the single chair as I hear the door close and he walks in.

"You're obviously not. Why don't you just talk to him? He's hurting too." He looks at me with that 'do the right thing' look.

"Do you know why I was so intent on believing that the twins were gone? You know, after I started bleeding because of those idiotic paps." I ask, daring a look.