Save Me (Adam Lambert)

Chapter 72 - Can I Forgive?

A/N: Here you go my darlings, hoped you liked the cliffhanger ;)

Please vote and comment, and happy 150 thousand reads!! Yayayayayay! Happy 2015 as well :)

Love you all so much :*

-Em xo

Chapter 72:

"It's been two weeks, honey." Adam pulls me to his chest and I rest in his arms, a light red blanket draped around my shoulders. My hair probably a mess, despite only washing it yesterday.

I don't have any make-up on, I hardly wear anything besides black, not that that isn't a usual thing, and I think the only thing I've listened to is Only Love Can Hurt Like This by Paloma Faith on repeat. I've been skipping classes, which my dad's weren't exactly ecstatic about but they understood.

I've become numb. I know that the whole 'two weeks' thing isn't about it being that same amount of time since I told Alex we're done. It's partly that, but mainly the fact I haven't spoken a word since that day. They're lucky if they get me to take my medication once every few days, and even luckier if I eat near that much.

How do you recover, when the person who was saving you, breaks you completely? How do you get better when you feel like you did when that monster touched you for the first time?

My answer?

You don't.

You can't recover from that. Okay maybe some people are strong enough to, but me? Yeah, right.

Alex has texted me at least a hundred times, and called me almost just as much, over the past two weeks. I've ignored every single one, not even opening the messages.

Kat has come over a few times when I actually have the strength to face someone other than my parents. I didn't talk to her, and she was okay with that. She just held me, and let me cry. She's the perfect best friend, and she understood.

But right now, I can't even face my best friend. I need to learn how to get better without him. I've learnt something pretty valuable.

No matter how much you think a person, or people, can help you recover, they never will. They might try, and it may feel like they're succeeding, but it all ends one-way or another.

The only person you can save is yourself, and the only person who can save you....is you.

I don't even feel the pain of the blade anymore. I just watch as the blood falls down both arms, and both thighs. I don't even know if I have the strength to pick up that metal some days. But I know I have to, because it's the only thing I can rely on. The only thing I can control anymore.

I hear a loud and distressed banging of wood on the black front door, and I bury my head in Adam's chest further, not wanting to face whomever the fuck it is. Probably another family member that heard about the recent 'break in the broken girl'.

"You shouldn't be here. You really fucked up this time." Sauli's voice is angrier than I've heard it since....that day.

"Stay here, baby girl. I'm going to see who it is." His lips press to the top of my head, and I'm alone again as he goes to do what he said he would.

I wrap the warmth-bringing blanket tighter around my small and shaking frame. Sure, it brings warmth in the sense of temperature, but it will never be as warm and inviting as Alex's arms were.

I don't even know why I'm still thinking about him. I shouldn't be, should I? Aren't I supposed to be all 'Screw him, let's watch a chick flick then hit a few night clubs!' with my besties? Yeah fucking right.