Save Me (Adam Lambert)

Chapter 61 - The Pain of a Year

A/N: Hello my beauties <3 I love this chapter, you see a side of Sauli no one has ever seen before and it's just ugh! :) I hope you all like it!

Can't officially dedicate because I'm on my phone, and that sucks. BUT...this is dedicated to my beautiful fiancé kpaulsweets :) she's so amazing and gorgeous and ugh!

(It's not like an official wedding cause we're underage and I don't roll that way, but it still counts!)

You can all come be bridesmaids and flower girls and all that hehe :)

Okay I love you all more than life and PLEASE vote, comment, fan, share, dance like crazy idiots, and be happy! And if you can't do the last one, come talk to me and we can be sad together <3 :)

I love you babies <3 and don't forgot to tweet me (@AddysGirl29) pics of you all having #SaveMesaved me on your wrists on the 12th of October :) pretty please? :(

Love you!!

-Em xo

Chapter 61:

Darcy's POV:

"Why do you think she did it?" I hear Sauli ask as I wake up. I keep my eyes closed so I can listen to what they have to say. Might as well eavesdrop and see what he really thinks of me.

"Kat told me she's been hurting herself again. In some way I knew she would get back to this stage." Alex sighs. Wait, Alex? What's he doing here? In my room?

"I just feel so helpless. I don't know what to do anymore. I want her to be happy and safe, but it's like I don't know how to make that happen. I can't be with her every second of the day, and I wish I could be, but I can't." His voice cracks and he lets out a shaky breath.

"I've gone through and gotten rid of as many blades I could find in here. But, Sauli...when I was taking her home from the party, she told me she was schizophrenic. It's true, isn't it?" he questions, though he sounds as if he already knows the answer. And I know he does.

"Yeah, it is. We found out last year. I always thought she was depressed. But schizophrenic? Never. Her memory lacked sometimes, and she always had visions and flashbacks that made her act a lot different, but I just thought it was because she was mentally scarred. But I've witnessed more of her illusions than I ever thought existed. She's been keeping them from us." Sauli exhausts.

"She has this...place inside her that she goes." He continues on.

"What do you mean?" Alex asks, and it's like I can see the confusion on his face, even with my eyes closed.

"It started, with us anyway, a couple of weeks before she tried to commit. Adam was the one to find her, in her bathroom, razor in hand. Her eyes were glazed over, and she was talking nonsense. She would always talk about us like she didn't realise Adam or me were the ones she was talking to. She would talk about demons, and how they whispered to her. That they didn't like us or anyone who made her happy. We call it her 'Dark Moments'. I seriously think she's mentally disturbed, Alex." What dark moments? What is he talking about?

"I'm not trying to be rude, or disrespectful, but why haven't you gotten her professional help? Sure pills might help, but she needs a therapist." Alex's voice is underlined with anticipated worry.

"Trust me, we have. She's been to three different therapists and psychiatrists. The first one she had a break down and threw a chair at him. So we got a female for the second attempt, and Darcy had a complete freak out. She sat in the corner screaming, clawing at her head, telling the demons to go away. She sees things, Alex. Symptoms of schizophrenia are hallucinations, delusions, thought disorder, social withdrawal, lack of motivation, 'blunted' emotions, inappropriate responses, impaired thinking and memory. People think that is just all her depression, and sometimes it is, but she's bad Alex, really bad. I don't know if she can ever be helped, no matter how much I would give for her to be better. I love my little girl, Alex, and I know you do to. But you need to ask yourself something." Sauli sighs.