Save Me (Adam Lambert)

Chapter 20 - Trying To Save You

Chapter 20:

I pace across my bedroom floor, nervous as hell. It's 6:30pm and Sauli got home about an hour ago. I'm nervous because more texts have rolled in since the one after the interview.

They all tell me to kill myself, and that the 'disgusting creatures I live with' deserve to die. It always goes on to say that because this psycho can't make this happen, maybe he can make me disappear.

I don't care that he is threatening me. I don't. Not completely...

I care, and I'm worried, that he will do something to hurt them. I haven't told either of them, and I'm not going to. I can't afford them to have a freak out and call the police like I know Adam would do.

"Darcy, dinner's ready sweetie." Sauli says as he knocks on my half open door and walks into my room when he sees me pacing. I quickly stop though, and try to stop the tears.

"Honey, what happened? Are you okay?" He walks over to me and leads me to sit down next to him on my bed.

"I screwed up. I screwed up big time." And I let a couple of tears fall accidently.

"Everything will be okay Darcy, I promise. Just tell me what happened." He says calmly and soothingly, being patient with me.

"Adam. That's what happened." I don't blame him, and I'm not trying to. I'm still upset about it, but I'm more worried that I've ruined everything.

"You didn't screw up Darcy. Adam did. I love him, but sometimes he can say things without thinking them through. But he does love you, we both do. Please give him another chance. I know you have every right to be mad, but...just think about it." He kisses my forehead and smiles, one which I return.

"I can't say it back. And that's my fault. I can't give you what you both want. Not right away at least. You want kids, normal ones. Ones you can raise and give the amazing values as your parents gave you. I'm not any of that. So what's the point anymore?" I wipe away the tear that travels down my cheek, and I can easily assume my eyes are red.

"Raising kids, you instantly love them. It's a natural instinct that most parents feel before the baby is even born. But learning to love someone is different. We loved you straight away. And because that isn't a natural instinct, it shows just how much we mean it. And we do mean it. Especially Adam. Not that we don't love you equally as much." He says reassuringly, making me smile a little more.

I wrap my arms around his waist, and he hugs me back tightly. He runs his fingers through my hair reassuringly.

"Is it ok if I skip dinner tonight? I'm not feeling very hungry." He pulls away a couple of inches, not completely but enough to look into my eyes.

"Of course. If you want anything just tell me." We let go of each other, and he walks to my bedroom door to go back downstairs.

"Actually, Sauli, there's one thing." Something seems to click, and he nods his head before walking out of my room. He knows what I'm talking about.

I lie down and face the window, my back to the door. The sun has already set over the clearing, unseen by the human eye living in this part of the world. My eyes drift closed, and I'm almost asleep. The darkness almost taking away my worries for a while.

But it doesn't. The darkness doesn't come, and I don't care that it doesn't. Because the reason I'm still awake, has its arm around my waist, pulling me to its chest and playing with my hair. And I lay my hand over the one around my waist, entwining our fingers together.

"I hate fighting with you. Especially when it's my fault. I'm sorry." I say quietly, but I know he can hear me.

"Don't apologize. It was my fault; I know that now, completely. I was so angry that someone hurt you. I know from experience that it's not easy seeing someone hurt themselves. But seeing you scarred because of someone else's disgusting nature? It hurts. It really, really hurts. I don't want to ever see you in pain. Especially because someone else did it to you. I can't bear to see you upset. You're my little girl." He kisses my cheek, and our legs intertwine, making me feel safer.