Save Me (Adam Lambert)

Chapter 68 - Sixth Times The Charm

A/N: Hello my gorgeous little Saviours :) I know it's been almost 2 weeks but I have had a lot on. Exams, getting stuff ready for formal, and all of that. So yeah, please be patient and over the holidays I'll be updating more hopefully.

Hope you enjoy this chapter. Those of you who are left anyway... I feel like I've been losing fans and I know I'm a bit slow in updating but other people are slower and I honestly thought this book was more loved than that :/

Love you guys <3

-Em xo

Chapter 68:

I stare at the shining metal on the sink, contemplating whether I should break my promise again. I don't have my dad's here to stop me, since I finally convinced them to go on their honeymoon.

My wrists itch and Cia and my other demons whisper things in my ear, telling me to do it. The last set haven't even healed yet, and I want to reopen them or create new ones. The urge washes over me stronger than it has in a while.

I look at my phone next to the pain bringing objects, and think of my options. I can't call Alex. I can't bother him with tedious things. But he'd be so disappointed in me if I did it again. But I need to. God, I need to feel the pain.

I grab my phone and quickly bring up a new text with his number on it. I lock my phone and start to pace the length of my bathroom, back and forth, back and forth. I tap my phone against the palm of my hand as I try to ignore the urge.

I want to feel the pain. To watch my blood pour out as I rip open my skin. I've gotten to the point where I don't even think I'd feel the pain. I would feel numb, broken, shattered, and weak.

But what about Alex? After almost 8 months of being together, and the memory of my mum's death in a few weeks, I just can't do any of this anymore. I can hardly let him touch me. We haven't kissed in 2 months.

The tears fall silently down my cheeks as I scream at my demons to go away. I claw and hit my head with my hands, trying to get them to stop.

"Shut up. Just shut up." I beg and yell.

I unlock my phone again and go into the same text, typing a two-worded message before I throw my phone on my bed and break another promise.

Alex's POV:

"Dude you are so going down." Matt laughs as he kicks my ass in Call of Duty.

"Oh yeah? Watch this." I press the sequence of buttons on the black controller and bring my rifle to shoot his character dead in the back.

The sounds of the game ring out through the speakers next to the large flat screen, and I chuck the controller in front of me as 'Mission Accomplished' comes up on my half of the TV.

"Suck it!" I lean back against the bottom of the lounge and Riley and Pete laugh at a pouting Matt.

"Cheer up dude. Just play Riley, he's easy to beat." I tease, earning a slap to the back of the head by the man himself.

"So when do we get to meet this girlfriend of yours?" Pete asks.

"Yeah, man, it's been like 7 or 8 months." Matt agrees.

"I don't know what's going on with us. Everyone knows about her past, and now knows about us, but she's having trouble separating the two. She won't let me touch her anymore, and she's back to hurting herself. I honestly don't know what to do." I sigh. I just want to help her, and it seems impossible.

"Look, she seems like a sweet girl and she's pretty and all and I know you love her. But you need to figure out if she's worth it. Sometimes even her beauty and your love for her can mean nothing compared to what you'll go through trying to fix her." Pete says honestly.